#and the vague weapon concept
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Early sketches for a concept I plan to play around with
#snappyâs wips#say hello to the meta/Morpho/gala fusion!! his personality is battling and identity issues#Iâve only figured out the colors and wings so far#and the vague weapon concept#still need to sort art the armor and horns and also a name#currently Iâm thinking something like Amalgamation Knight or ??? Knight or simply just The Knight#idk naming kirby characters is kinda hard feel free to suggest something lmao
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Fashion Fit for an Empress
I saw the 5th dress in my game while trying to dress another sim and immediately dropped everything to put it on her. And then things spiraled a little bit, and she ended up with 12 new outfits.
#ts4#the sims 4#sims 4 CAS#ts4 CAS#adventures in cas#my sims#cas#*rtq extras#ah yes. posting a bunch of CAS posts of a character from the world of a story you haven't posted in over a year...#WHO DOESN'T EVEN EVER SHOW UP IN THE STORY.#perfectly normal behavior.#the last (and only) time we saw Adrienne before this was in my rulers render and she was wearing the first outfit.#she has a really fun fashion sense and dresses the most like a classic fairytale/fantasy royal out of all of the nobles/royals in RTQ.#Oraine was (in very very very very very vague ways) inspired by the pop culture version of pre-revolutionary France.#hence Adrienne's name and some elements of a few of the fashion choices.#I think my favorite picture is the 2nd one but my favorite outfit is probably the 1st 5th or 6th.#If anyone wants to hear me ramble about Oraine and the Empress please lmk bc I wrote a short but interesting summary of them.#and I love the Empress's concept a lot.#the guy I sent the summary to said she reminds him of a yugoloth (he's my DM lmao) and he's not even remotely wrong lmao.#she absolutely weaponizes people's assumptions of her (based on her appearance and publicly known actions) against them.
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It is done! *falls down*
BEGINNINGÂ ||Â PREVIOUSÂ || NEXT (SOON) MASTER POST
I have... so much to say on so many different things but it is 2:30 in the morning so I will keep this as brief as possible. First off, thank you to all my mom friends and mutuals who helped me with accurately portraying and normalizing the experience of giving birth. It is wonderful, and painful, and gross, and beautiful. I apologize if it made any readers squeamish (and I know there were a few gross jokes in there) but considering how gross the tv show got, I think it remained true to the overall vibe!
Second, I wanted to talk about the concept of "hope" in this story. When I first watched the movie, I felt like the idea of hope being their greatest weapon seemed sort of heavy handed and cheesy. However, after watching the ending of the show again I realized that hope is actually a huge reoccurring element in the story and a big part of what it means to be of the Hamato clan. Doubly so, I wanted Casey Junior in a way to symbolize that hope for Leo specifically, so when Leo talks about hope in the beginning of the movie, he's not just talking about some vague concept, but Casey Junior himself. He is their greatest weapon and he doesn't even realize it.
Thirdly, so uh... Casey Junior. I apologize if it had seemed out of left field, but do know that the decision of his origins was not made lightly. The shear similarity in his facial structure to Lou Jitsu as well as several other factors that I will refrain from stating due to future spoilers was too numerous to ignore! It is an integral part of his story for reasons that will go unsaid for now, and no, he does not know he's distantly related to them. Also, Big Mama! Been holding onto her concept for some time now! I loved the idea of her mystic broach becoming damaged so she can only be cloaked to a certain degree, making for an interesting blend of both her forms. She was really fun to figure out!
Finally thank you everyone for your patience. This special turned into quite the endeavor with most of the updates exceeding 20 pages each, but I'm so happy I was able to finish it... even if it did take so much longer than my projected hope. I can't wait to get back to the main storyline, though I shall miss these silly, overpowered boys. We got a lot of ground to cover and I'll likely be posting a summarized reminder before continuing. ...and after I finish work on some Zines and the holiday special winning commission!
#rottmnt#rottmnt replica#replica#kathaynesart#save rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#unpause rise of the tmnt#unpause rottmnt#tmnt#pregnancy#child birth#giving birth#violence#gross jokes#poop jokes#replica holiday special
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I love your au!!! I love how the hylian duo look like gremlins, I LOVE the expressions and sass constantly and the changes to the lore, the worldbuilding and also the emotions (OUCH). I love their relationship with purah and each other and the new champions. I love the depth you gave Yona and her relationship with Sidon and Mipha. I love how link feels comfortable talking to sidon in addition to sign, I don't know if he does that with anyone else but Zelda unless its absolutely necessary (eg: just launched out a cannon and is paragliding down, so hands are busy) (side note: i love how much of an adrenalin junky/gremlin he is!!)
I do got a few questions! Will the pair get the sheikah slate again (so say link has the slate and zelda the pad), and can both slates do the warping and item storage (food, ingredients, armor, weapons, etc) (if so: no WONDER link was so upset! His collection!)
Does link have access to the ultrahand abilities (ik you said not The ultrahand, but what about fuse or ascend or rewind etc?) Where is the mastersword??
Does Link still have the champions' abilities, or did he lose those when their spirits moved on at the end of botw?
I know these are a lot of questions but I can't stop thinking about it!! The last few updates sent me back rereading the whole au and now its just vibrating in my head and giving me no piece
This is long and rambly, just know I am very much enjoying this au! Its silly and fun and touching and cute. Thank you for working on it!!
Oo some notes (also ty for circling my au haha im glad other people fixate like i do)
(Prewarningâ i did not finish totk despite putting triple hours in it, so a lot of this story is being written while playing, though i know the big broad strokes thanks to cultural osmosis and video essays. A lot of Familiar Familiar builds from my playthrough with BOTW over TOTK, so the sheikah influence is significantly stronger and I will always choose botw characterization over totk characterization as a result.)
That aside
1. Sheikah slateâs dead. Rest in pieces, linkâs rare collectable korok poop. Purahâs extracting as much data as she can to put on the purah pad but you can see the dread in her eyes whenever she has to tell link resurrection is not possible.
2. No idea about the zonai arm powers yetâ im thinking about ascend, but the longer i go through this story the less likely ill hand it to him just due to immersion breakage. He and zelda will be getting sheikah gadgets from purah though! Maybe ill have a scene of him wandering through the sky island shrines, but without zelda warning rauru he and sonia wouldnt have prepared anything for the hero of the future. (But i DO love ascension and fuse. Lowkey dislike the building mechanics from a concept art pov because the green glue makes me want to cry, but itâs FINE i GUESS)
2b. Master swordâs chilling in korok forest. Link put it back in this au because of Reasons (part of his and zeldaâs characterization in this au is to discard their past roles and embrace the present, not as knight and princess but as hero and researcher. They both have to face the reality those roles arenât dead, but itâs a work in progress. I may also never address it. This âone off hehe lemme draw some guysâ idea quickly spiraled into a web comic series so apologies for the vagueness, because i too am watching them adventure with dread and awe and i donât know where theyâll go with it. They literally write themselves.
3. Rip champions, their ghosts are Gone (but their influence remains. You go mipha, keep haunting the narrative girl, i love you)
I know that some of these story notes donât quite match up to what totk states is stone cold canon, but thatâs the joy of fan work! Anyways sorry for folks who i have NOT answered asks ofâ i have a lot of them and Iâm much better at the drawing and writing part then the socialization aspect (please feel free to peak in to my zoo enclosure ever so often though. I need the enrichment)
#ask#ah enough people asked these questions that i feel i should have a disclaimer#i may have 190 hours in totk#i still have no idea whats happening#brain emptier then a can of air
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pretty little weapon
pairing: undercover cop!mark x (f) reader
genre/warnings: smut, organized crime, cop x criminal, graphic depictions of blood and violence, mentions of death, smut, choking, oral (f receiving), biting, a pinch of angst, mentions of pregnancy-related death, unprotected sex (dont b silly, wrap ur willy!), vague mentions of sexual assault
summary: A lifetime worth of adversity had brought you to Bloodlust. You joined them to escape your history, but with Mark Lee - an undercover narcotics agent with a secret to keep - comes the threat of being forced to confront your past. Old wounds are opened, but scars heal.
word count: 25.7k (âŚi have nothing to say for myself.)
a/n: inspired by PLW by leon thomas, bad news by kehlani, and perfect crime by tinashe! bon appetite! I did this on a whim. read this with the 2 baddies styling concept in mind. as always, feedback is appreciated!
You were going to be absolutely livid if Yuta didnât up your pay.
After a long night of work, you anticipated crawling into your sheets. Then waking up to a large sum of money deposited into your account in the morning as courtesy of your hard work.
That never happened.
âThis was not in the job description,â you complained to your boss. Though there was technically never a clock for you to be on, you had already firmly clocked out. And when he invited you on this escapade, you were inclined to deny. But he was nothing if not unrelenting.
Yuta smirked and brushed you off. âYou do stone cold murder for a living, baby. This is what you signed yourself up for the moment you killed somebody.â
God, you hated when he was right. Sometimes all you ever wanted to do was argue with whatever he said. Moments like this when he began cutting down on your downtime.
Soaring through flocks of people, you kept very close to Yutaâs side, his arm firm around you. People knew not to mess with him, and thus anyone considered his associate. That was one of the beauties of working for Bloodlust, you supposed. As long as you were loyal and faithful to them, you were guaranteed total protection and discretion against anyone.
The tale of how you secured a job of this nature in the first place was relatively simple. You were scouting the streets as usual, given it was the only home youâd known. Violence was absolutely nothing new to you as you had been in your fair share of street gangs prior to Bloodlust. But one thing led to another and you had blood on your hands in an act of self defense. Specifically the blood of your own fellow gangster.
Just your luck, Yuta witnessed the scene. He was a stranger at the time, some shady man offering help that looked like nothing short of trouble. You found yourself surprised that you even took his deal, but you werenât left with any alternatives. Going back to the gang was not an option; there was no telling how the leader would respond to the blood of your superior being on your very hands. There was no mercy there.
Yuta vowed to cover for you, but you would perpetually owe him in return. You were expecting something more lewd when he informed you that you would be working for him, though you did nothing of the sort. Yuta took you under his wing and handed you a job as a contract killer.
And the rest was history.
You hurdled closer to his chest, pursuing warmth. Given the hour and the season, the outdoors were becoming frostier. You exhaled and saw your breath condensing in the air.
âStay put,â Yuta said. As if you would run off anywhere. You were tempted, though you werenât stupid. And though you would never admit it to his face, you loved the street races.
After you nodded, Yuta parted without having to worm his way through the crowd. They respected him, though most of it was out of pure fear. They made way for him whenever they saw him approaching.
You eyed the roads while you waited. The street races were one of your favorite aspects of the gang. They were orchestrated by Yuta and were a great source of profit overall. But watching them was the part you were fond of.
One of the cars before you caught your eye - a neon green Porsche. You had barely laid a finger on the exterior before you were forcibly knocked backwards, your face slung to the other side.
You held your cheek in your palm, adrenaline pumping through your veins. There was no immediate pain. You didnât even feel like you were in your body. You could only stumble as you grasped to process what happened.
A visibly upset man - one of the racers - was waving his fist at you, screaming this profanity and that, but from the looks of it you hadnât left as much as a scratch on his car. And if he thought he was going to intimidate you, he had another thing coming. Brutal adrenaline came over you and you socked him square in the jaw. Harder.
The racer was knocked to the ground by the force. âYouâre gonna regret that,â he growled. You merely laughed. It was comical and you almost took pity on him. This guy clearly had no idea what forces were on your side. Not until he noticed Yuta and Johnny beginning to rush in his direction and he bolted.
The gang had very simple rules and even simpler consequences. If you disobeyed, you died. They were so simple that if you violated them, they read it as an act of defiance. The most obvious rule was to respect the high-ranks and their associates. The second was to comply, or your punishment would be fatal.
Another man came to your side and lowered you to the ground for inspection. This one you didnât recognize at all. âYo, are you okay?â
âIt doesnât hurt that bad,â you said, moving your fingers from your cheek to your lips. When you glanced down at them, you saw blood.
The stranger handed you a napkin. âHere.â
You took it and wiped your mouth, and thus the blood at the corner of your lips. That was one hell of a punch. Rather than feeling pain, you were in a state of immobilizing shock.
âThanks, uhâŚ,â you squinted your eyes, running his face through the facial recognition system installed in your memory. But you came short. Which was surprising, because you always remembered the faces of the regulars.
âMark,â the stranger finished. Then he flashed you a smile. âItâs nothing. You should get that checked out, though. Make sure nothingâs broken or fractured.â
You nodded. As a result of uttering any speech, you noticed that your jaw slightly ached when you spoke. For fuckâs sake. None of this would have happened if you were in your bed.
Then Mark disappeared. And you had no time to think before you heard a piercing noise.
Gunshots rang in the distance and you werenât at all surprised to see Yuta and Johnny return with sinister looks on their faces. Yuta helped you to your feet and asked, âYou good, Scar?â
Scar was the alias youâd been granted after Yuta noticed the scar on your stomach. Rather than finding it odd, he was astonished by it. Which was so utterly Yuta of him. The alias served no other purpose than maintaining your confidentiality, but Yuta always thought it had a nice ring to it.
âNot the first time Iâve been punched. I think Iâm gonna be fine,â you assured him. The gods had blessed you with an unholy pain tolerance, which all your tattoos were a testament to. You remembered the matching one you got with Yuta and subconsciously smiled.
Friends like Yuta were, needless to say, rare.
All of the evil melted from Yutaâs face and he chuckled. âYouâre a tough woman.â
âYou love it.â
âI do.â Yuta curled his arm around you again. You were certain he was going to cuff one of your hands to his arm and never let you out of his sight again. âI was surprised that you didnât finish that guy then and there. You took a pretty mean punch, babe. Mustâve been too shocked.â
That you were. But he was taking a nice load of bullets to the head before you even got the chance.
After the races were over and the roads were cleared out, you followed Yuta to his car. You suddenly had a thought once you hit the road.
âYuta, do you know someone named Mark?â
Yuta furrowed his brows. âNah. Why?â
Your heart sank. âFuck.â
He glanced at you for a split second before returning his eyes to the road, but asked, âWhatâs wrong?â
âThere was this guy at the race. He helped me and gave me a napkin to wipe the blood off of my face, but I didnât recognize him. He told me his name was Mark.â
Yuta was alarmed. Just as you expected. It was one thing if you didnât recognize a person at one of the gangâs events, but not Yuta. He had to ensure the attendeeâs identities were closely monitored for everyoneâs sake.
âFucking hell?â Yuta handed you his phone and said, âCall Jaemin for me and tell him to look into the records. Maybe it slipped my mind. Letâs not jump to any conclusions, okay?â
You nodded your head and did as told, pressing his phone to your ear. Jaemin told you that he was AFK but would run a search as soon as he got back to the headquarters. Yuta dropped you off promptly and assured you that heâd call you with an update first thing in the morning.
Which only left you to wait.
In the morning, Yuta called you into his office, and you were immensely surprised to see not only him but Ten and Taeyong waiting for you in the room. Technically, you didnât work for Bloodlust as a whole. There was a team of hitmen that worked specifically under one high-rank, though you were Yutaâs subordinate. Thus, encounters with other high-ranks were rare. Especially the leader.
Taeyong was the leader and the one at the helm of the entire gang. He inherited the title by succession to the metaphorical throne through descent. Yuta was his right-hand man, though given Taeyong rarely stepped out of the shadows unless absolutely necessary, Yuta being perceived as the leader was a popular misconception to outsiders and law enforcement. Which was completely deliberate. The less law enforcement knew, the better. It also made the task of differentiating interlopers from legitimates much lighter.
Ten was the gangâs personal spy. Their eyes to the other world. Just like any other high-rank, he directly supervised an entire branch of people pertaining to his title. Essentially, he was the leader of a team of criminal agents.
None of that explained why they were here, though.
As it was in your best interest, you greeted the three of them very politely. Though Yuta had a threatening position, you were close enough to be informal. Those freedoms didnât apply to Ten and the leader. They might have been as good as strangers, but considering their influence in the underworld, they could have ended your life and career in an instant if they so pleased.
Glancing at Yuta, you said, âYou called me, Boss?â
Yuta resisted a smirk at your attempts to be formal. You never called him âBossâ. âI did. I had Jaemin follow up on the Mark guy. We found something recent about him in our records.â
Ten interjected, âBut I had a buy-off of mineâs confirm his real identity. Heâs a Lee Minhyung. An undercover narcotics agent once tasked with tracking down a drug empire, and now that he shut them down we believe heâs moved on to attempting to infiltrate our ranks.â
Your blood ran cold. Frozen over in your veins. Forever grateful were you that you were excellent at maintaining your composure. Otherwise you would have panicked.
Taeyong stood at the far end of the pair. You had heard numerous things about him, but you were left gasping for air every time you saw him in person. If looks could kill, you wouldâve been six feet under. Taeyong continued, âIâm sure you can guess why this is an urgent problem for us. It is my direct responsibility to protect the identities of those that put their faith in this gang and ensure their confidentiality. Now that we have a cop meddling in our affairs, that complicates things.â
That was to put it simply. The police infiltrating their territory was a direct threat imposed to the future of the empire. The moment the diplomacy was dismantled, so was the entire gang. Bloodlust in itself was intended to be an enigma. The purpose of hiring hitmen and establishing them by individual aliases was to deliberately make it difficult to link crimes to the gang. In return, your genuine identities were concealed. There was too much at stake to remain idle.
You supposed it made sense that Mark was kind to you. That made it easier to gain peopleâs trust. Though in the underworld, it made you look suspicious. Which led you to another question; if he was benevolent to you, did that mean you were specifically targeted?
You leaned forward in your chair and asked, âWhat does he know about the gang?â
âThatâs where we hit a dead end,â said Ten, frustrated thoroughly. Whatever information they were relaying to you was everything they knew themselves. âSince he engaged with you, we considered that he might have a lead on you. If thatâs true, most likely heâll interact with you again given the opportunity.â
That didnât alarm you. For most of your life, youâd lived on the edge, and that was especially true when you were a member of those prior street gangs. If your old friends sold you out, you wouldnât be surprised. Yuta informed you early on that Bloodlust could keep your future under lock and key, though not your past.
But you were very suspicious. They wanted something out of you, that much was clear. Something significant. There was no other reason why the leader himself was before you. Though what?
âWith all due respect, I donât understand my involvement in this.â
Taeyong was straightforward. âWe want you to play along.â
You nearly gawked. âExcuse me?â
He wasnât the least bit bothered by you and continued, âThe best way to fight fire is with fire. If Lee Minhyung wants to use you as his means of conveying intel, then let him, but lead him astray while doing so.â
In short, they wanted you to give Mark false information. Which steered far from your line of work. Why they chose you for the job in spite of having people actually equipped for the task was a mystery. Yuta was not kidding when he said that you signed yourself up for additional labor the moment you killed somebody.Â
Frowning, you tried to stave them off. âYouâre just gonna send a girl with no prior experience into the wild?â
âMust I remind you that we have full access and authority to all of your history stored in our records?â Ten sneered in amusement. âThink of it as a resume. Itâs been a few years, but yours was very memorable. This wouldnât be your first mole job.â
That was true. Anyone recruited to work for the gang was required to give a complete rundown of their history. Even recruits like you that didnât respond to them directly. They made it very clear that lying would have put you in an early grave; Bloodlust had eyes everywhere.
âAnd you wouldnât be uncompensated. Iâll triple your pay,â Yuta added.
That had your undivided attention. âIâm listening.â
Yuta fought a snicker. He expected nothing less. âWe know that this isnât what you usually do, but the job is very simple. Itâs expected that heâll try to extract information from you, so give him the wrong info. At the same time, try to figure out what he knows and what he wants. Thereâs a motive behind him targeting you and until we can confirm otherwise, we have to assume youâre his prey and he has valuable intel in his possession.â
âWhy not just kill him upfront?â
âHe might be valuable,â came Tenâs reply. âWhatever he knows, itâs safe to assume that he isnât the only one.â
âWe will be closely monitoring the entire empire for any turncoats, but heâs not alone. He has a partner,â warned Taeyong with a hefty stare. âSo you have to be cautious about what you say to him.â
Ten began to get impatient and said, âSo, do we have a deal?â
Tapping the arms of the office chair, you pretended to mull the proposition over although you had already made your decision. If their motive in collectively ganging up against you was to make you feel pressured into agreeing, you were almost inclined to decline the offer out of pure spite. But the genuine interest you had in the assignment discouraged you. There was too much at stake to play games.
Thereâs no good reason to decline, you decided halfway through the offer. Exposing yourself to law enforcement mightâve seemed too risky, but law enforcement potentially exposing you was even riskier. And you were no stranger to games of deception. Devising devious stratagems was one of the first skills you acquired.
You feigned indifference and replied, âFine. Iâll play make-believe with the boy with a death wish.â
Yuta failed to resist his snicker this time, but it was true. Bloodlust gained its name for a special reason. For over a decade they had climbed their way to the top and were successful because they had no mercy for those that crossed them. You had faith that this was going to end with Mark having a bullet put through his brain.
After all, he wouldnât be the first. Just another casualty.
Ten smiled, satisfied. His smile was alluring though likely deceptive, although you expected nothing less from the head of Bloodlustâs criminal agents himself. You had a feeling he was the one that suggested cornering you. âGood. Youâre probably already aware that I administrate the spy squad. You wonât be working for me per se, but Jaemin and I will serve as your resources.â
Jaemin was another high-rank, the hacker and leader of their general technology team. If you ever thought you had hid a file or record from him; think again. In all your years of working for Yuta, you had never even caught a glimpse of the manâs face in person. He could only be spotted somewhere with a signal yet caved away.
You left that room with a mission. Jaemin had IDâd Markâs partner and sent you a full report on them. Lee Minhyung, twenty-three, one of the youngest in his division and yet one of the most accomplished. He had spent merely three months undercover to overthrow a drug empire, and now he was scouting the big shots. Lee Jeno, twenty-two, and fresh out of the training program. There wasnât much on him, obviously, but according to his evaluations, he had ambitions and was following in Markâs footsteps.
Frankly, you were impressed. The reason neither of them had been detected until now was because they signed up the rightful way. No one suspected anything was amiss because their department created fake IDâs and hid their authentic ones. Nothing that Jaemin couldnât find, though.
Needless to say, you had your work cut out for you.
The next time you saw Mark Lee was at another street race event. According to Jaemin, Mark and his partner were fresh recruits and had only been present for a few days at best, though he had quickly decided that the races were his favorite hunting grounds.
For a cop, Mark was remarkably easy to spot in a crowd, but he was playing the criminal role well enough. He had red hair that burned brightly and dressed the flashy part. You had yet to see him without a Cuban link.
You approached him and greeted, ââSup, Markie.â
Mark raised a brow. âMarkie?â
âDo you not like it?â you asked, smiling innocently. You inched in on him, but left a safe distance between you two. The last thing you wanted was to make him uncomfortable by invading his personal space. âHow about Marco? Or Markus? Even better - Little Red Riding Hood.â
Mark snickered. âMarkie is fine. Thank you, Tony Stark,â he quipped.
âMCU fan?â
âYou bet.â
He genuinely piqued your interest at that. Maybe pretending to like him wouldnât be so hard. You breathed, âI love you already.â
He laughed. Then concern washed over his face. âHey, your face okay?â
âYup,â you replied, giving him a thumbs up. âI got it checked out like you said. Nothing broken or fractured. Itâs a little sore, but Iâll be good as new in a couple days.â
âYouâre a tough cookie,â he complimented.
You chortled. âSo Iâve heard.â
With a broad smile, Mark continued, âThat was one hell of a punch you landed on that dude, though. Knocked the guy flat on the ground. Whereâd you learn how to fight like that?â
Here came the invasiveness. You decided to be as vague as possible about your past - and current - gang affiliations. You shrugged. âThe streets. Polished my skills in the fighting ring, though.â
âThereâs a fighting ring?â
âOh, no wonder Iâve never seen you around these parts before. Youâre a total newbie,â you laughed, shaking your head.
âItâs only my fourth day out here,â Mark told you. Which was the truth. You were very unsurprised to find he was taken under the drug trafficking operation, which was ran by Jisung. âYo, I never caught your name.â
You gave Mark your name, although you had a feeling he already knew. Jaemin and Ten were actively working together to uncover everything the unit had on you and the gang.
âI can show you the ropes,â you offered. Given where he stood, you knew those words alone had him hooked on you. It was safe to assume the drug empire was his primary, but offering him the gangâs additional means of money-making on a silver platter would have any officerâs mouth watering. âTake you on a tour. The gang has plenty of places to kill time while simultaneously making hella cash off of them.â
Markâs eyes gleamed with intrigue. âSmart business. I might just take you up on that.â
âBloodlust is all about smart business,â you remarked. Then, you began to do some prying of your own. It wasnât all that risky to give up some of their territory, but everything came with a price. âSay - who did Boss put you under?â
âThe Jisung guy. Drugs.â Mark shrugged. âNothing major. They donât trust newbies directly with the hardcore shit, and for good reason. But he told me that itâll pay well, and if I stick around long enough, I can work my way up.â
Of course, it paid very well. No matter how low-ranking the position. They were trafficking illegal drugs and substances. It was one of their most lucrative branches.
You also hadnât failed to notice how Mark mentioned that if he stayed long enough, he could work his way higher. That was common knowledge, though you doubted he was unaware of how problematic leaving a gang was. He had the prior experience, and even on his last mission he didnât vacate the syndicate until he successfully seized the ranks. In other words, he wasnât withdrawing until he had shot the entire gang down by its very heart and core.
Which was the inner circle.
That was a pressing reminder to keep your guard up. Though Mark seemed likable, it was very intentional. You knew he wouldnât hesitate to persecute you to the highest extent of the law and you would maintain that same lack of mercy.
You played along, bobbing your head. âMet the boss yet?â
Mark shot you a wince. âNot formally. And Iâve heard around that the less I see of Lee Taeyong, the better. Whatâs up with that?â
âTaeyong likes to deliver his messages up close and personal,â you cautioned. âHe only comes out if absolutely necessary. Getting a personal message from the big boss only happens if youâre going around wreaking havoc.â
âNo warning?â
You smiled, but the sinister undertone in your voice was very evident, âIf he sends anyone else but himself, that is a warning.â
You didnât feel pressured to make your insinuations very subtle, because you were Markâs only hope. The gangsters werenât exactly inviting. They were very cynical, tight-lipped, and kept small circles because another one of the most important rules was confidentiality and they dreaded facing exposure.
For the most part, people who received direct messages from Taeyong didnât make it out alive. For that reason, you did not underestimate Mark, but you were certain he had underestimated the gang. Even if you hadnât discovered him yourself, they would have in approximately the same amount of time.
Mark showed no fear and kept the conversation light-hearted, but the glimmer in his eyes suggested he took that as a challenge. âThen, Iâll make sure to be on my best behavior.â
Liar, you scoffed. He was very much going to wreak havoc. He already had.
âYou better. Iâd hate to see a face like yours gone so soon,â you flirted, to which Mark grinned and cocked an intrigued brow. He was handsome, you had to give him that. Then, you decided to change the topic. âYou like cars, Markie?â
He pretended to frown. âIs it obvious?â
âAs far as I know, youâve spent at least half your nights at these races. There has to be a reason,â you said, then resorted back to flirting, âUnless, you just come to look at me all night.â
âYou are quite the extravaganza,â Mark played along, matching your energy. Much to your amusement. âIâm more of a bike guy, but I like anything shiny and nice.â
âWeâre gonna get along just fine,â you quipped. âWanna race?â
âFor real?â
âFor real,â you repeated, smiling. âThey start in a little bit. You strike me as the type of guy that likes all things thrill and exhilaration.â
Mark broke into a tiny snicker. âLucky guess. You any good?â
You shrugged. âDunno. Guess thatâs for you to figure out,â you teased. Then, began to make your escape. Granted, you knew he wouldnât let you slip away so easily.
Mark, tantalized, trailed behind you. Hopping in a speeding car with someone as good as a stranger seemed rash, but he had a feeling that you knew what you were doing. Absolutely none of this was foreign to you.
Boy with a death wish was an apt description for Mark.
Upon your last-minute entry, you took him to the garage to pick up your ride. To say the least, Mark nearly dropped dead. The sight of your bright red Bugatti Chiron positively made him gape. âHoly shit,â he exhaled.
You giggled. âSheâs hot, isnât she?â
âLike hellfire. Arenât these like, hella expensive?â
You bobbed your head. âSheâs hell to repair. But my baby deserves the best.â
Mark continued to marvel. âDude, you gotta let me drive one day.â
You laughed, amused, but for a completely different reason. Like hell you would let a cop take your car for a spin. It was outrageous enough that you permitted him to take the passenger seat.
Eventually you both went to line up for the races. Mark was still completely astonished, glancing around your two-seater with total awe and wonder. If you knew that you didnât have to kill him, you would have found it very cute.
Yuta came by and stuck his head through the window aperture. Which were each rolled down as a safety measure. âYouâre racing?â
âYup,â you sang, smiling wildly. It had been a minute. And you figured that you needed some thrill in your life (unbeknownst to you, Mark was exactly that). âMeet my partner. Mark, meet this guy.â
Yuta rolled his eyes, then droned, âYou two have fun.â
âOh, trust me. Fun is guaranteed with me,â you replied with a wink.
Yuta glanced at Mark and quipped, âRun while you still can.â Then, he ran off.
âYou canât run now,â you said, making eye contact with Mark through the rear-view mirror. âWe have a race to win.â
Mark grinned mischievously.
The flagger came into vision, preparing to launch the first race of the evening. You and Mark fastened your seatbelts, then you braced your hand on the steering wheel.
âReady?â you asked, glancing to your side.
Mark bobbed his head. He seemed relatively relaxed for a first-timer. Honestly, you were beginning to wonder what all he had done in the name of the law. âBorn ready.â
You revved the engine, watching the flagger count down with bated breath. Everything felt light. Adrenaline made your blood pump faster, your heart threatening to leap out your chest. This was it. That feeling that made life worth living.
Three, you muttered under your breath. Two, one. You gripped the wheel tighter. Then every nerve in your body chanted, Go, go, go!
And you slammed on the gas, bolting the car forward like lightning.
You sped like the devil. You were going nearly two-hundred miles per hour in a matter of ten seconds. The car roared underneath your fingertips and you knew you were driving a beast, one that had risen from the dead.
âGoddamn,â Mark raised his voice, speaking over the vicious winds that tousled your heads of hair. He was smiling, clinging to his seatbelt for dear life.
You shouted, âHang on!â And you both accelerated.
You laughed, so carefree. Nothing else mattered when you were on the road and you quickly lost grip of everything that wasnât the steering wheel clenched firmly between your fist. The road was the only thing capable of holding your attention, and you even occasionally forgot that Mark was beside you until you heard his exhilarated laugh. Every single thought you had left as quickly as it came. Moments were exactly that - moments. No fears, no worries, no nightmares. Just making it across that sweet finish line.
The feeling surging through your veins was inexplicable, but you knew that you werenât alone in it. Mark could feel it, too. The rush overpowered any sense of threat and adrenaline made you forget what it felt like to breathe. At that moment, it was like breathing on the moon. Almost as if you didnât need any air.
You wedged past this car and that, until you had made a great distance in front of them all. They were left in the dust.
âYou feel that, Markie?â you asked, chest heaving out of pure, unadulterated fever. You could see that typical untamed gleam in his eyes, but heightened.
âYeah,â he said, nodding. And then he began to crack into a fit of hysterical laughter himself. âYeah. I can feel it.â
The corners of your lips were in an unfaltering curve. âLetâs win this damn thing.â
Mark was grinning from ear to ear. Never had he ever felt so alive.
The climax of the race was your very favorite. Time lost its meaning and speed became inexhaustible. Air became scarce, as if there was no more left on earth. The tension throttled you and swallowed you whole. And heat reduced you to sweat and fighting breaths.
All you had was momentum, but that was of little threat to you. And Mark.
The distance between the car and the finish line decreased more and more and more. There was practically no one around you, but that didnât ease your resolve. Resting was not an option until victory was yours.
Mark chanted, âCome on, come on.â
He wanted it as badly as you. If not more. There was nothing for him to gain out of this except experience and yet he seemed immensely content with that.
From the moment you crossed the finish line, time became a blur. All you knew was that you had won and you could feel the achievement in your veins. You only noticed that you were panting when you stepped out of the car, and the crowd flocked towards your vehicle.
âSo, what do you think?â you asked Mark, sitting on the hood of your car. âAm I any good, Markie?â
Mark wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand, then replied through thick breath, âI think you just gave me the time of my life. Thank you.â
You chortled. Damn right. âThe pleasure is all mine.â
Someone cleared their throat and you turned to make eye contact with Lee Jeno. He looked directly at you without hiding his scorn when he spoke, âSorry to interrupt, but Markie has to go now.â
You didnât break eye contact with the boy, either, retorting, âTell your dad that you donât wanna go, Mark.â
Mark stifled a laugh. âIâm sorry, but I have to,â he said and hopped off the hood of your car. âThank you for tonight, though. Iâm holding you to your word from earlier.â
âIâve never broken a promise,â you said. Then, you waved. âSeeâya.â
Mark hugged you briefly, then bid you goodnight and faded in the crowd with his more than obvious partner.
And you went to pay yours a visit.
Given the hour, Ten was not pleased when you barged into his office, but before he could run his mouth, you shushed him with your finger.
Ten mouthed, âDid you just shush meâŚâ
You removed an object out of your pocket and rested the item flat on his desk. It was a tiny, black wiretapping device. Clearly, somebody thought he was slick, though even in your fit of ecstasy, you were not off-guard.
From the expression he sported, Ten was highly amused by the flagrant audacity of this boy. There seemed to be a telepathic communication between you two, but just to be safe, he mouthed, âPlay along.â
Ten said your name and began, âYouâre late. Did you hear the news?â
You almost rolled your eyes, but very audibly pulled in the opposing chair to give the impression that you were here for a long, scheduled conversation. Then, you blew out a sigh and replied, âYeah. Yuta told me Taeyong is considering shifting the gang to China. Damn feds too close on our tail.â
âDonât fret. Itâll be a walk in the park. China makes up our secondary income - the ascendancy we have there is enough to start fresh.â
The little tale made you smirk. Bloodlust hadnât branched out in China very much yet.
âI know, but Korea is the only home Iâve known,â you groaned.
Ten was very good at playing along with your bullshit and told you, âThat was how I felt when I came to Korea from the States. Listen, youâre gonna be homesick as a bitch. But you wonât be alone and thatâs what matters.â
If this was a genuine conversation, you would have been touched. âThanks, Ten.â
Ten drummed his fist against the wall to mimic the sound of someone knocking on a door, then rose and said, âThat must be him. Come on.â
The two of you stepped into the corridor. Where, obviously enough, nobody awaited either of you. Ten shut the door and moved a great distance away from his office before he decided you were both in the clear.
As soon as you were in private, both of you began to giggle. Ten quipped, âSure you donât wanna work for me?â
You snickered. âIâm more than content with Yuta, thank you.â
âI have to commend you for your performance back there,â Ten told you, sincere. âMost people wouldnât have even caught that they were bugged. That couldâve been bad. Itâs impressive.â
âLikewise,â you replied. It was in your best interest to steer Markâs team off course, if possible. Theyâd learn one way or another to mind the business that paid them.
Ten grabbed a tiny stick-like item from his pocket and pressed a red button at the bottom end of the device.
You furrowed your brows. âWhatâs that?â
âBug detector. Jaemin made it for me,â he told you. Then, a red light beamed from the device, and Ten scanned you from head to toe. After a brief moment, he said, âYouâre in the clear. Iâll take care of the bug. Did you learn anything else tonight?â
You nodded. âHe knows Taeyong is the leader. I let him ask most of the questions tonight, but Iâll have my turn later. Iâm posing as a friend thatâs going to show him around.â
âTake him where you want.â Ten glanced at his watch. âI expect more from you by the end of the week.â
âYes, sir,â you replied. Obviously, he had somewhere to be. âGoodnight.â
Throughout the week, you and Ten continued to use the wiretapping bug to your advantage. Faking conversations, making up false plans about the future of the gang. It was, more or less, a taunt.
Just as Ten expected of you, you had additional information to deliver by Saturday morning. Mark was no easy task, but where his partner was concerned, you learned things easily. For one, most of your identities were definitely known. Jeno was not sparing with his disdainful glares whenever he came across high-ranks.
Much less you, for that matter. Which made you wonder exactly what role you played in this situation, but that was still inconclusive. You assumed it was because you had direct ties to the second-in-command, but you merely did his bidding. Which had nothing to do with the trafficking of illegal drugs.
And Yuta never let you in on the affairs of the gang. It simply never came up. It was none of your business and you didnât care. As long as they protected you.
Either they had no clue what they were doing, or they were looking to make a very big bust.
The following Monday, you marched straight into housing clad in dolphin shorts and a white t-shirt and knocked on Markâs door. Very relentlessly given it was two in the morning.
Mark yelled, âIâm coming!â from somewhere across the apartment. When he opened the door, he squinted, half-awake. But positive that he was dreaming. âHow the hellâŚâ
You snickered. âYou arenât very hard to find, Markie. This is where the newbies that donât have their own place live - I would know. Boss gave me access to the housing info.â
âStalker,â he snarled insincerely, voice husky. It did something to you, but you would never admit it.
Instead, you rolled your eyes. It was very ironic, all things considered. He was going out of his way to investigate you and your bossâ friends. âYeah, yeah,â you said, inviting yourself in. âHurry up and get ready. Weâre going to the ring.â
Markâs eyes widened. âShit, right now?â
âMm-hm.â
âShit. Let me go brush my teeth and change.â
Glancing around the apartment, there was nothing immediately suspicious or out of the ordinary. Just slightly messy. It looked very lived in.
Less than fifteen minutes later, you and Mark were out the door and on the road. The late night and early morning breeze was very comforting. Just traveling lightly on the road while the sun was still down was one of your favorite things to do.
Mark spoke teasingly over the radio, âDo you barge into peopleâs houses and homes to go fight very often?â
Unabashedly, you giggled. âNo, actually. But I am very notorious for walking around like I own the place. Youâre lucky enough that I had no choice but to knock.â
âYou mean, beat the door in.â
âDid not,â you countered.
âNo, you did,â he said. âYou probably woke up everybody else on the same floor.â
You smarted and retorted, âPlease. They should come watch me kick your ass.â
Mark was very amused by your confidence. âIâm gonna make you eat those words, doll.â
âHit me with your best shot.â
He took the challenge. âLoser buys breakfast?â
You grinned smugly. âYouâre on.â
The road led you to some bar with an enormous flickering neon light that displayed the name of the establishment. Despite the late hour - and how shady the exterior of the building appeared - the parking lot wasnât empty.
With your finger, you signaled for Mark to follow behind you and entered the bar. Much to Markâs surprise, your attire fitted right in with the lack of crowd. Most were sweaty and gulping glasses of water at the bar.
Mark cocked a brow and said, âI thought we were going to the ring.â
âWe are,â you responded, fighting a smile. The bartender didnât spare either of you a glimpse when you led him behind the counter and through the double doors.
You were met with a tiny hallway. There was a kitchen door on one end, but you brought him towards the other. It seemed much more exclusive than the others, no double doors or easy access. You placed your finger on the biometric lock and it clicked open.
âWoah,â Mark gasped.
You giggled and went into the empty room with a ring in its center. In contrast to the others, it was dimly lit by beams of neon red lights. There was another bar at one end and chairs and tables arranged elsewhere. âThe private fighting room,â you announced. âItâs only used by higher-ups and their associates.â
âI just thought of at least eight Fight Club jokes I could make right now and half of them have something to do with Tyler Durden.â
You shook your head. âYouâre insufferable. Youâd lose your mind if we owned a movie theater.â
Mark smiled bashfully. âCan I talk about this place?â
You glared. But ultimately couldnât resist bursting into laughter.
âCome on,â you gestured, stepping inside the ring. And he followed suit.
After you both warmed up, you asked, âYou ready?â
âAs Iâll ever be,â Mark replied without hesitation, eyes burning with sheer confidence. âGotta warn you, though - I have a blackbelt in taekwondo.â
He wasnât lying. You remembered seeing something like that in his profile.
âGood for you. I have a blackbelt in kicking Mark Leeâs ass.â
Mark ďżźtaunted, âI would like to see you try.â
You got into position, holding your arms in a prepared stance. âDonât go easy on me, Markie. If you couldnât tell, I like things rough.â
As usual, Mark merely gave you a grin of unadulterated mischief.
The first round played in your favor. It ran more like a practice round if anything - Mark was more focused on becoming accustomed with how you fought than winning. As a result, you knocked him clean out.
Though Mark decided in the next round that he wasnât playing any games. He had taken mercy upon you before, going easy on you in spite of what you told him, but you knew by now that Mark had a penchant for challenges and loathed losing. You thought that you had him right where you wanted him, but by the end of the match, he had you right where he wanted you.
âI was wrong about you, Markie,â you gasped after tapping out and accepting defeat. âYou striked me as a Mamaâs boy. The âIâd never hit a girlâ type.â
âI love my mama,â Mark grinned. âAnd of course, Iâd never. But you asked for it.â
Mark helped you to your feet and you lightheartedly threatened, âIâm snitching.â
âWhatever you say,â he taunted. âI see why they call you Scar and not Punch.â
In a flash of anger, you lunged at him, but Mark caught you by your wrist promptly. He cocked his head and said smugly, âCheater. The final round hasnât started yet.â
The way he stared down your soul unnerved you. It wasnât typical of you to show fear - and you didnât - but saying that you were unaffected by his every move would be a blatant lie. Though there was absolutely nothing sinister about Mark. Maybe it wasnât him that you were scared of. Maybe it was how he made you feel.
That was more dangerous than any threat.
When the next round initiated, you fought like a beast that had emerged right out of hell. There was no way in hell that you would go down without a fight.
This final round was all the more intense. You were convinced that if you had any spectators, theyâd be completely exasperated by the suspense. The both of you kept bouncing shy of one another.
It was akin to a seesaw of action. When Mark landed a hit, you landed one harder. When you were above, suddenly Mark knocked you back down again.
âThis isnât over until one of us taps out,â Mark said.
You shrugged. âI can go all night.â
âSo can I.â
Neither of you were backing down, that much was clear. It seemed preposterous - getting worked up over an unofficial game - but you were competitive and Mark was ambitious. The most minuscule of things were still another bridge to be crossed to people like you, no matter the size.
You either won or you lost. It was one to one. This was the tiebreaker; the round that made or broke the game. You didnât mind buying him breakfast, but there was also a part of Mark that was so goddamn insufferable and you would rather not satisfy that insatiable desire of his.
âIf you want your victory, come and get it,â you taunted.
âSay less,â Mark said. Then swung.
Courtesy of your agility, you were able to move out of the way. It was better than giving him the opportunity to lay his hands on you, even if you blocked the hit. You learned very quickly that Mark could make you think he was doing one thing and wound up doing another.
You took your chances, not permitting him the chance to realize what you were up to before you danced around his figure and tackled him to the ground.
You straddled him and smirked, pinning his arms firmly above his head. You were very aware of what kind of position you were in, but you werenât complaining. It felt like you were at your throne at the very top of the world from above Mark.
Mark eyed you down. âSomeoneâs been doing her homework.â
You clutched even tighter around his wrist the more he spoke. To which Mark grimaced and quipped, âAre you trying to crush my bones or jump them?â
You teased, âIs that what you were dreaming about before I woke you up, Markie?â
âNot quite,â he replied with a chuckle, then switched on a dime. He flipped you over, hovering over you as you lay flat on your back. Instead of pinning your hands above your head like youâd done to him, he went for your throat.
His grip was strong. It wasnât tight enough to cause you any genuine harm, as if he didnât intend to hurt you, but you felt as if he could have bruised your throat.
The worst part? You didnât thoroughly despise the feeling.
Mark leaned directly into your ear, then growled, âTap out and Iâll let go.â
Resisting, you brought your fingers to his arm, though you swore his grip became firmer the longer you stood your ground. Mark merely stared into your eyes as you began to gasp for air, holding onto breath for dear life.
The way he looked into them, it was almost as if he was searching for something. You supposed Mark wallowed in the look of vulnerability in your eyes, or the life leaving them, but it couldnât have been as prominent as the bliss etched onto your face. âYouâre enjoying this,â he remarked, showing even less mercy with his palms.
When you were on the verge of unconsciousness, you tapped Markâs arm with your fingers. And only then did his grip loosen.
Mark shook his head when you began to laugh. âYouâre fucking crazy.â
Chest heaving, you replied, âIâve heard that one before. Try harder.â
âYouâre a fucking minx,â Mark taunted, voice dropping another octave. âBut you know that too - donât you?â
A provocative smile crept across your face. âI swear I donât do it on purpose, Markie.â
There was a whirlwind of thoughts rippling around your brain as Mark leaned dangerously close to you. Heat flared through your body in place of your typical cold blood. You seemed to internally debate yourself, but it wasnât as if you ever had very much of a conscience.
âDo it, Mark. Do it,â you chanted. From the pensive expression he sported, you were confident that half the thoughts in his head were temptingly screaming the same thing.
Mark steered out of his tiny reverie and began, âThat guy - Yuta. Heâs not your boyfriend?â
You burst into laughter that was on the brink of hysterical. âYouâre kidding,â you said. But when Mark showed you no sign of toying, instead stern, you added, âPlease. I love Yuta and Iâm forever indebted to him, but Iâd rather choke on my own blood than date him.â
That was all Mark needed to hear. âSay less.â
In the time that it took for him to close the tiny gap between the two of you, the last of Markâs reluctance met its end. His mouth crashed against yours in haste, and you moved in a heated sync, swallowing each otherâs tongues.
The taste of him drowned out the rest of the world. You forgot that Mark was a predator and you were his prey. You forgot that you were supposed to hunt him down. Each of your limbs tensed tautly with want and your will for pleasure made light work of your senses. You were enthralled by how well of a kisser he was.
Someone you used to know once told you that sex was a tool, love was a poison; combining the two was a one-way ticket to death. All of which slipped your mind completely as you involuntarily began to rasp your hips against his.
Mark grunted so lowly that you were at the brink of succumbing to insanity right then and there.
It was like Mark existed solely to tease the living hell out of you. Being a thorn in your side was what he thrived on. He kept slithering his hand up your thigh, just shy of where you needed him, and you did not miss the smug little grin on his face when you groaned in complaint.
You pulled away from his lips and warned, âDonât tease me.â
Predictably, Mark was not alarmed. Your threats were of little substance to him. âDunno, doll. Itâs kinda fun to watch you get all worked up.â
Deciding to take matters into your own hands, you grabbed Markâs wrist and slipped it down your shorts. You made a tiny noise when his fingers brushed over your clothed cunt, then purred, âFeel that, baby? Could be all yours if you stopped playing games.â
And with that, Mark was sold.
The both of you ran suspiciously out of the bar. You willed yourselves not to touch each other in front of anyoneâs prying eyes, but the way you rushed out said enough.
You decided on going to Markâs place. There was nothing to hide at yours because you refused to bring work home with you, but your address was sensitive information. Sleeping with someone never prevented them from betraying you and nor did it invoke an unbendable bond to be broken in the first place.
But the moment you stepped inside Markâs apartment, it was game over. You couldnât stay away from one another, stumbling over his belongings as you made out while stripping along the way to his bedroom and leaving a trail of clothes in your wake.
You wondered exactly how long this desire had been pent up. Maybe you suppressed it out of priority for your jobs, but it had expanded into something unignorable now. The tiny sparks became a full-fledged forest fire.
Mark pushed your naked figure against his mattress and gave your now-naked body a once-over. âI never realized how many tattoos you have,â he rasped.Â
There was also a huge scar on your stomach. He had caught glimpses of it during your fight, but the full sight made him curious. Alas, now wasnât the time to ask questions.Â
âMm,â you hummed, stifling a giggle. âIf you do a good enough job, I might tell you the stories behind them.â
âThen, I hope youâre ready to talk,â he said confidently.
You arched a brow. âYou talk a big game, but arenât showing me what youâre made of.â
Mark gripped your thighs apart and at the sight of your dripping cunt, he growled, âJust watch. Youâre going to be a mess by the time Iâm done with you.â
Before you could offer another retort, Mark pushed his head between your legs and began to have at it.
A little sigh eased past your throat when you felt his tongue lap at your folds. His mouth was warm against the flesh, heat spreading in waves throughout your body and core. You willed yourself to keep your reactions to a minimum, not wanting to give Mark the satisfaction of seeing you at your very worst.
Eyeing him from the bed, you basked in the sight of him devouring you like a five-star meal. Your arms were propped by his pillows very comfortably. You watched him swallow you whole, his veins becoming taut as his grip on your upper legs became ruthless and his wavy red hair tickled your plush thighs.
You were in heaven, needlessly to say. Mark sucked at you without a shred of mercy. No matter how much you liked a boy, you never tended to keep your expectations as high as your standards when it came to bedroom performance and going down on you, but Mark was full of surprises. True to his word, you were somewhat certain that at this rate, you would be a mess by the time that he was finished with you.
âFuck,â you mewled when he started to lick and suck at your clit.
Mark smirked against your folds. He was going to be the death of you.
Each of your attempts to remain quiet were defiled by your more than loud moans, though you couldnât bring yourself to be bothered. It was as if Mark knew exactly how to push your buttons (and which buttons to press).
Meanwhile, Markâs mind was ablaze with thoughts of you. The sight of your body would be indefinitely etched behind his eyelids. Your intricate tattoos that told various tales across your perfect skin, and your plush thighs that tensed whenever he brushed your clit.
You could feel your pulse throbbing in your core. Your thighs trembled, your hips involuntarily moving against Markâs mouth to derive as much pleasure as possible. It seemed desperate, but you were reduced to fire and bones in no time at all. All you knew how to do was ravage everything in your course to feed your flame. And Mark was hellbent on ravaging you.
You clutched Markâs hair and cried out, âMark.â
He seemed to rejoice in how utterly responsive and reactive youâd become, unable to defy your bodyâs demanding urges. It was impossible. And your reactions only fed him, spurring him on to milk you completely dry.
You swore you felt nothing but sheer thrill. It was comparable to the high you received from racing. The way nothing else mattered, and all your focus was so centered on one particular thing that you couldnât think of anything else. You were enticed by danger and entrusting Mark with power over your body was a great enough threat.
Mark was way too attracted to everything about you. Tasting you and watching you lose your grip of control on his tongue only amplified that allure with the addition of arousal. To hell with his job if it meant that he could spend one more moment with you in his mouth.
Maybe he was attracted to danger, too. You and danger tended to go hand in hand, but so did danger and his lifestyle. There was a reason why he wasnât afraid of you.
âJust like that, baby. Oh my god,â you moaned, angling your head back. For the sake of your pride, you tried to desperately cling to whatever remained of your sanity, but Mark was resolved on unraveling you.
Your sounds became louder and Mark discerned that you were on the verge of release. If you hadnât awakened his neighbors when you gave his door hell earlier, they were certainly now contemplating filing noise complaints.
Mark separated himself from you ever so briefly and growled, âCome on, doll. Do it for me.â
The little pet name never invoked much thought from you. You assumed he wanted compensation for the nickname youâd dropped on him, and thus let it slide. But in that moment, it made you weak - and you loathed pet names.
This was going to bring it home. Every nerve in your body was tense and uptight. Your fingers and toes tingled with the threat of release, heat spasming in your core and the palms of your hands.
You climaxed in a fit of unadulterated pleasure, tightening your grip on Markâs red locks and convulsing by reflex. You practically curled in on yourself, every bit of you clenching emptily as fervor shot through your body. Mark didnât grant you the mercy of letting you ease through your climax, unrelenting as he continued to suck and lick at your pussy ruthlessly.
Mark brought you to a second orgasm in half the amount of time it took to achieve the first one, and only then did he crawl away and let you breathe. You heaved shallow breaths, blinking through the rise and fall of your chest. Never had you felt anything so intensely. You were milked completely dry.
Mark didnât comment, but his words were heavy through the signature glimmer in his eyes. And smile tugging the corners of his lips. âSo, am I getting that bedtime story?â
You replied through heavy breaths, âTake your pick.â
He snickered.
Mark licked his lips and thus your arousal from his mouth. You shot up and straddled him, wasting little time in sucking at his neck. Mark shook his head. âJesus, woman. Do you rest?â
Stifling a laugh, you purred, âI regenerate quickly.â
That didnât surprise Mark in the slightest. He could have guessed. âGood to know.â
Pressing kisses to his neck, you began to rock against his hips, feeling his hard cock through the confines of his underwear. You anchored yourself on his shoulders and teased, âShouldnât we do something about this problem of yours?â
Mark angled his head back. âFuck, yeah,â he groaned.
You pushed his chest down in a successful attempt to knock him backwards and his back met the mattress. But the kisses never ended, and you found it nearly impossible to tear yourself from his skin. Until you felt him involuntarily thrust against your hips, needy.
âPatience,â you sang. Granted, you didnât have much of your own, either. ďżźThe way he brought you to another world and back only moments ago had you desperate to recreate the feeling. ďżź
You lifted your purse off of the nightstand not too out of reach from you and retrieved a condom. For good reason, you figured Mark wouldnât have any.
Mark cocked a brow. âYou keep those on you?â
Of course, you did. You preferred to be safe over sorry. Not to mention that your hookup who shall not be named tended to forget them. Deliberately. You subconsciously smirked. âMind the business that pays you,â you murmured, dragging his underwear down his ankles. And fitting the condom over the head of his cock.
You and Mark let out a simultaneous noise of bliss as you rolled onto him. His hands found purchase at your hips while yours pressed featherly against his stomach. You took him inch by inch, leisurely making your way down as your cunt opted to easily swallow him whole.
Mark nearly lost his mind being engulfed by your heat. His fingertips dug almost painfully into your waist for mental anchor, supporting himself with all his might. For goodness sake, you were so tight. It didnât help that you still leaked with arousal from your previous two orgasms, even more sensitive from them. The moment you were snug around his cock, he felt you clench.
âMm, Mark,â you moaned, rocking against him at your own pace. You took the lead, following your own rhythm and Mark didnât have it in him to stop you. Hell, not that he wanted to.
This was, for lack of a better word, a very bad idea. But neither of you seemed to care. It felt forbidden - doing as much as even thinking about each other so lecherously, but that was half the fun. Neither of you could restrain the lascivious thoughts that ran rampant through your minds when you caught a glimpse of your naked bodies or heard a lewd noise.
The other half, of course, was the actual fucking.
And when Mark heard you call out his name, it took all his willpower to not finish himself right then and there. Not Markie - Mark. He steered dangerously close to release at the mere sound of your honey-like voice.
Mark found it in himself to tease, âEnjoying yourself up there?â
âLike a queen on her throne,â you retorted.
He certainly made you feel like royalty, that was for sure. You felt worshiped by his tongue. Now, you were at reign over his body. And all Mark could do was lie there and behold you as if you were a royal immortal deity.
There was a moment that passed where he considered throwing it all away for you without a second thought. You were a lethal weapon of temptation; that Mark knew, yet he was disposed to capitulate to you. As if youâd lulled him into a fatal trance with the very grace of your body alone.
Though your every move was unpredictable, Mark didnât know what to expect when you leaned closely to his neck. But it certainly wasnât for you to bite at the skin. He let out an embarrassing whine at the feeling of your teeth leaving marks and tiny remnants of you on his throat.
You arched a brow. Then, teased, âWhine for me again, Mark.â
âShut up,â he grumbled.
Your lips brushed ever so gently against his and you tauntingly whispered, âMake. Me.â
As aforementioned, Mark was comprised of surprises. His hands rose from your waist to your bouncing tits and he thrusted up, achieving a whimper of surprise from you.
He smirked at the way your face tensed with pleasure and your fingers grasped his biceps for dear life. âHoly fuck,â you cried, clinging to him as if youâd sink into the pits of the earth otherwise. He kept fucking you from below, watching you intently as he admired his handiwork with complacency.
He sneered, âWhine for me again, doll.â
âShut the fuck up,â you hissed.
Mark snickered. Now where had he heard that before?
The softest of moans parted your lips as Mark fondled with your breast and his hands eventually rose, fingers clawing around your throat. He missed seeing that look in your eyes. The one of air depleting itself from your lungs and the blood circulation ceasing to flow and the pleasure sparkling a tiny gleam.
You satisfied his urges, face blanching the longer he held his grip. And the tighter. Mark very much could have done as he pleased with you, but you knew heâd never let this go too far. Just enough to have you at the verge of blacking out.
Although you were remotely dizzy when he released you from his clutch, you liked it. You never quite noticed it before, but there was a fiery gleam in Markâs eyes when he choked you. Something sinister. There was an animal in him that had gone dormant for far too long and youâd finally aroused the beast.
And you were the only one to date that had seen it and didnât flee.
The two of you were dangerously close to climax. With how close in proximity your bodies were - combined by every thrust and grind - there was no way on earth either of you couldnât tell. You began to rasp your hips against his cock in a vigorously synchronized motion, desperate for the heat of the friction that made you tingle. Piece by piece, you were breaking into rupture.
Mark was no better. Just looking at you had him dangling over the edge. Dangerously. It would only take one little slip before he fell depthlessly into a pit of you that seemingly had no top and no bottom. Just you, only you.
âLet go for me, doll,â Mark ordered softly, trying to coax you into an orgasm. âYouâve been doing so good for me.â
His mouth and hands knew no boundaries when it came to your body. They roamed you, his tongue slithering around your nipple and his hands roughly finding purchase on your ass. You were also very sensitive in areas where your tattoos lived, he learned, and used that knowledge to his advantage. Mark was single-handedly going to destroy you.
âLet go,â he sang again, gentle and tempting.
You began to tighten around him involuntarily. It was coming. âIâmâŚâ
Mark held you firmly. âCum for me, baby. Iâve got you.â
You saw stars when you came for the third time, orgasm hitting you in full force. It was nothing short of intense. You clamped around Mark, walls tight around him as well as your grip on his biceps. Your thighs shuddered with climax, and a shrill cry erupted from your lips. ďżź
Mark grunted, âFuck.â The feeling of you pulsing around him undoubtedly sent him down a similar fate. His hands fell to your hips and held them to the point of bruising.
After you rode out the rest of your high, you slacked. You lied against his warm chest, feeling him breathe rapidly as you desperately clung to your own breath.
âDo you feel okay?â
âI feel great,â you heaved. âDo you wanna stop?â
Mark faintly smiled at how much endurance you had. âNope.â
You rode Mark until sunrise.
When both of you roused again, the clock had already ticked past noon. You made room for another, much lazier round, and settled for brunch instead of breakfast.
Then you split and went your own separate ways. You waltzed straight into Bloodlustâs headquarters. Given you were channeling all of your focus into this Mark mission, your schedule was indefinitely clear of all else. Which left you with leeway to choose someone to vex.
You stepped into Yutaâs office without knocking, yet before you could get a word out, he barked, âDid you come here to tell me that youâre sleeping with the enemy?â
Blinking, you resisted a frown. And said nonchalantly, âI have no idea what youâre talking about.â
Lying to a high-rank. Wrong move. And also impossible to get away with.
Yuta shook his head, scowling. âJisung said that he saw you both running out of The Lionâs Den. Disorderly. And something told him it wasnât because of a fight.â
Park Jisung, when I get my hands on you, you bristled inwardly. You never did get along with that boy. On more than one occasion, you had to be separated so that you wouldnât kill each other.
You rolled your eyes and sat across from your boss. With light humor, you replied, âPlease. If anything, I have Mark right where I want him.â
âDonât walk into a trap,â Yuta warned.
Traps were laid by people like you, not the opposite. You were many things and stupid was not one of them. Just another casualty, you told yourself. Thatâs all Mark was. You refused to allow him to become anything more. âIf youâre done, I have something. Mark thought that I was your girlfriend - what if thatâs the connection? Heâs using me to get to you.â
âThatâs possible,â Yuta sobered. âBut he would have to know that you wouldnât snitch on your lover. Iâd kill both you and him with my bare hands.â
âTerrifying,â you deadpanned. âHas Ten or Jaemin been able to get in?â
Yuta gave a shake of his head and drawled, âNope. Theyâve got that unit on lock. Apparently drugs are super sensitive information.â
Blowing out a breath, you turned pensive. They were hiding something, obviously. You were half-tempted to march up to Mark and demand he tell you everything he knew, but it was too risky of a move. Though it wasnât like he had gotten many leads through you, and there had to be something keeping him joined at your hip.
But what?
At first, you considered that maybe youâd given away more than you realized, yet nothing you told him was incriminating enough to arrest anyone with a drug trafficking charge. Hell, if that was the case, Jisung would have led you all to demise already.
âI can hear your gears turning. Stop thinking,â Yuta quipped, steering you out of your reverie. He could never stay mad at you - or serious - for very long. âListen, babe. Just keep him at bay. If we make no progress, weâll bring out the extremes. Everything will be perfectly fine.â
You nodded. âPerfectly fine,â you repeated.
Everything was not perfectly fline.
During the past couple of weeks, things had taken a sharp turn between you and Mark. You intended to leave him for dead after that first hookup, yet the more time you spent together, the more each of you burned with lust.
And so it happened again. And again. And you lost track of how many times youâd slipped away to fuck Mark and suck on his tongue.
Of course, the quality of the sex never declined. You were both pleased and enraged at the fact that Mark had range. Every time you both hooked up, the only thing that stayed consistent was the want that shot through your core. For fuckâs sake, he just had to be a man of variety.
In a nutshell, you were completely fucked.
There was an event at the gangâs casino and you snagged Mark as your date. As if anyone else would risk it. You were the only one crazy enough to personally involve yourself with a cop.
Which, you tried to erase from your memory. There would come a day where heâd try to send you away in cuffs. And youâd have to kill him before he got the chance.
You shivered at the thought.
âYou clean up nice,â you commented when you came to pick him up.
Mark was dressed very pleasantly. The red hair was a stark contrast to the fancy black suit and trousers he sported, though given the semi formal occasion, he abandoned the frivolous style and opted for a neater hairdo. You were approximately three seconds away from forgetting about the goddamn casino altogether.
Similarly, you wore a red gown that flowed down your legs, hair styled elegantly and your face beat. Casinos were very much not your scene, and underneath the dress you kept an armed and poised gun resting ungrudgingly inside of the leather holster at your thigh.
âThank you, mâlady. Youâre very beautiful,â Mark replied, taking hold of your fingers and kissing the back of your hand gently.
You grinned. Then began to snicker when you noticed your heels gave you a couple more inches of height on him.
Mark cocked a brow. âWhatâcha laughing at?â
âOh, nothing.â
Obviously, Mark didnât believe you in the slightest. Though he said nothing, instead leading you to the elevator. âIâm driving,â he told you, leaving absolutely no room for argument.
You furrowed your brows when you saw your keys in his palm. âWhen the hell did you get those?â
Mark grinned smugly and jiggled the keys. âYou should pay more attention.â
You were absolutely affronted. There was no way in hell Mark Lee had caught you off-guard. You folded your arms across your chest and Mark snickered, then pressed a little kiss to your neck to placate you.
As you slipped out of the elevator and into the lobby, you quipped, âMake sure to drive the speed limit and not the speedometer limit.â
Mark opened the door for you, yet retaliated, âYouâd know a lot about driving over the speed limit, wouldnât you?â
âShush,â you mumbled, fighting a smile.
âI believe the correct answer is âThank you, gentleman.ââ
You hardly leaned off of your heels when you swayed towards Mark, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips and purring, âThank you, gentleman.â
Mark clamped his arm around your waist and said, âMuch better.â
There was a grand casino connected to the hotel that the gang owned. They never invested in anything unprofitable. The building was sky-scraping and vivid in the dimming indigo night, its gold exterior oriented to attract the attention of men and women of means. Courtesy of the supplementing hotel, it had valet parking.
As expected, the sight was nothing short of breathtaking. A large glimmering chandelier hung at the front entrance. There were even tinier ones the further you voyaged across the long red carpet, hanging on the sunken ceiling. You were surrounded by tall pillars and arrays of staircases and even the air felt different inside the casino. It was more or less a very marvelous labyrinth of money.
Mark whistled. âSnazzy. You know what this reminds me of?â
âWhat?â
âVegas, baby. Vegas!â
You narrowed your eyes. You didnât want to know what his Letterboxd account looked like. Or introduce him to one, for that matter. Leaning into his chest, you asked, âEver been?â
âOnce. Itâs very beautiful.â Just like you, he was tempted to add, but he didnât want to come off cheesy. âI should take you there one day.â
Mark was a little too good at toying with your heart for your liking. Both of you knew very well that a future with you together did not exist.
And yet your mind blinked with images of you and Mark in Las Vegas. Him showing you around the sin city. Wandering the streets in each otherâs arms, laughing and marveling at its beauty with heartfelt awe. You saw his dumb face and his stupid smile and knew that you were over.Â
After a bit of walking, the two of you finally found yourselves amongst the rest of the gang. The occasion was nothing special; for the most part, they were discussing deals with other groups and further things you didnât get paid enough to be concerned about. You saw Qian Kun and knew to make a run for it. He saw everything from a business perspective, which was great for the gang - and your paycheck - but agonizingly boring.
And then, you ran into Park Jisung and instantly knew that you should have stayed home.
Sternly, you greeted, âJisung.â
âYou,â Jisung icily greeted, less than pleased to see you.
âI have a name, you know,â you reminded with a scowl.
Jisung didnât hesitate and shot, âAnd Iâd rather not stain my tongue by saying it.â
âYou son of aâŚâ
Mark growled in your ear, âBehave.â
Jisung raised his brow when you switched on a dime and rather quickly composed yourself. Where was this guy when he was having a heated quarrel with you for the umpteenth time? Shutting you up on command? He doubted even Yuta had that kind of power over you.
Worst of all, he didnât know if that was a blessing or a curse.
âI have to speak with her,â Jisung said, refusing to say your name. Then added, âAlone.â
Mark angled towards you. âWill you be okay?â
Absolutely not. The last time you had a one on one conversation with Jisung, one of you nearly died. It was certainly not a great idea to leave you alone together.
But something told you to nod.
Mark, skeptical, pressed, âYouâre going to be good, right?â
âVery classy,â you retorted, despite wanting to be literally anywhere else. You hoped whatever Jisung had to say was of significant value. For him to willingly speak to you, it had to be life-threatening. âIâm going to have a civil conversation with my peer like the two adults that we are.â
âOkay,â Mark replied with scrunched brows, still hesitant. âIâll be over there with Jeno.â
Throwing both you and your less than lovely coworker another glance, Mark parted and left you to fend for yourself.
As soon as Mark was a safe distance away, Jisung immediately said, âI wouldnât trust him if I were you.â
Your face immediately puzzled. âWhat makes you think I trust him?â
Jisung laughed in your face. âAre you for real? For one, youâre fucking. Donât deny it because I saw you running out of The Lionâs Den, and I know what people who eagerly want to fuck each other look like. I see the way you look at him.â
âAre you worried about me, Jisung?â you quipped. You refused to pay any heed to what he was insinuating. Let alone accept it.
Jisung scoffed, âNo. Iâm worried about you jeopardizing the future of this gang.â
âThatâs rich,â you said, crossing your arms. And trying to identify the cleanest way to insult him. âIt wouldnât be a singlehanded error. Youâre literally incriminating us by having him under the drug branch in the first place. You guys let two cops in and didnât even notice. The only words I should be hearing from you are âthank you.ââ
âStop. Youâre deflecting, as usual,â he sighed. âJust like the brat mouth you are.â
Instead of giving him a seething response, you gritted your teeth. And bit your tongue. Literally. At some point, you decided he was no longer worth your wasted breath.
Which Jisung noticed and added, âSee? I can tell he has a heavy grip on you. This is the first time youâve ever held your tongue talking to me.â
You had an argument ready to fire, but stopped dead in your tracks when you realized that he was right. Why hadnât you told Jisung off in vulgar terms yet?
No. It didnât mean a thing. There was absolutely nothing to it other than you coming to your senses and realizing that bickering with Jisung was - and always had been - utterly pointless. He was obstinate and even after hours of debate, you wouldnât be anywhere much further than where you started.
Never had you answered to anyone. In spite of working for other people, they knew that you marched to beat of your own drum. There were some traits of yours that were nonnegotiable and theyâd either have to accept it or cut you loose.
Ever since you were an infant, youâd carried a reputation. Hell, maybe even before then. You had been called many things in such a short lifetime and an untamable lost cause was likely the least hurtful of them all. Nobody ever believed that anyone as wild as you could be salvaged from the destruction youâd inflicted upon yourself. And hence you began to believe it yourself.
This was the only life that youâd known. It was one where you had no option but to fend for yourself and isolate yourself from the world out of self-preservation. How the hell were you supposed to know how to react to someone sneaking their way inside and making you see life through a different lense?
You had seen so much in your years that you falsely believed that you were numb to fear. But you had never been so scared of something before; change.
You forced yourself to say, âHave a good night, Jisung.â And made a beeline for Mark. The walls of the enormous building were suddenly beginning to close in on you and you felt as if there was no air in a room full of space.
âI need a breather,â you said to Mark, interrupting his conversation.
Mark gave Jeno a glance, then took your fingers in his and asked, âWhere to?â
âThe rooftop,â you replied lightly, feeling drained and youâd only just got here.
The two of you stopped by the bar and downed a glass of hard liquor before you made your way to the rooftop. There was an elevator with calming music that brought you to the very top of the building.
You decided that you preferred the rooftop as soon as you stepped onto the terrace. It was lit by purple neon lights and void of people, and the air felt fresh and inhalable. Like a breath of fresh air. There were sofas with tiny tables crammed in between scattered about the floor and even further were glass railings that overlooked the entire shining city.
Even at night, the city was never dead, busy with bustling roads and brightly lit structures. You were certain that that was when it came to life.
Mark embraced you in a back hug and you swore time slowed down. But did your heart always beat this fast when he touched you?
âTalk to me,â Mark exhaled, breathing tickling the back of your neck.
You let his touch warm you. It was a great contrast against the chill breeze that swept over the roof at this elevation. âAbout what?â
âAnything. Tell me whatâs on your mind.â
I like you, you said to yourself. And Iâm scared because I donât know what to do.
You shook your head. âHow about I kiss you instead?â
âYou could have just said that you want to kiss me,â Mark murmured.
Lightheartedly, you admitted, âI want to kiss you so bad, Mark Lee.â
Mark laughed and whirled you around, pinning you against the nearby wall and meeting his lips to yours. It all happened so fast - just like everything else between you two. Everything lasted both for a second and in perpetuity.Â
He kissed you until you were stripped bare and empty of every last thought. It felt like magic. How he gained the remedy to instantly put you at ease was a mystery, but you didnât wonder. You just kept sipping from his poison and inhaling the toxins. There was no hope for you anymore. Mark was withering you away and you were simply letting him.
This was wrong on so many levels and yet you never let that stop you. There were no boundaries. You both took what you wanted and you took what you needed without giving any fucks about who didnât like it. Desperately did you want to believe that nothing would come between you two.
You bit Markâs lip and he groaned, nails digging into your waist. Which then prompted a tiny noise to part from your own lips. You were a parallel set of actions. It was strange; you didnât fight for superiority, you fought to be even and equal.
There was something different in the kiss after you bit Mark. As if heâd been injected with an animalistic venom. The tempo increased and you fought to keep up with his every move, moaning into his lips as his tongue let loose inside of your mouth. His grip got even tighter, as if he was holding you to keep you to himself and himself only. There was no where else that you would run. As ironic as it was, you felt safest in Markâs arms. He was the haven you never had.
Then, you heard a noise. You discerned that Mark heard it too, because he pulled away instantly and caged you behind him defensively. And your heart warmed at the gesture, though you needed no savior.
You sighed and pulled your gun from your holster, calling out, âYouâve got until the count of five to come out because if I have to find you my goddamn self, Iâll blow your brains. One. Two. ThreeâŚ,â
At the third count, Jeno emerged from behind one of the chairs, gun drawn.
You began to snicker and waved him off. âOh, put that damn thing down. Hit the road, Jack. And donât let me catch you again.â
Jeno begrudgingly made a move for the door, not failing to cast you an ugly glare before his glance shifted to Mark, who started at his partner bemusedly. He left without a word.
You glanced up at Mark. âWhy was your friend spying on us?â
âI was wondering the same thing,â Mark said, tone full of genuine perplexity.
You furrowed your brows. If Jeno was spying on you and Mark without either of your knowledge, what did that mean?
Maybe he didnât know what was happening between you and Mark.
With a shake of your head, you grabbed Markâs hand and led him to the glass railing. And he followed you like a moth to light. You propped your arms against the cool glass and called out, âMark.â
âHm?â came Markâs response from right beside you.
You reluctantly tasted the words on your tongue before you asked, âWhat was your childhood like?â
âI was born under a bridge,â Mark deadpanned. To which you snorted and nudged his side. âBut nah. I didnât have much growing up. My mom got hooked on drugs real bad and she couldnât take care of me and my brothers, so we moved in with our aunt. She did the best she could to make ends meet, but you know how that shit works. Whole time, my cousin was on the streets. Made a gang. I followed in his footsteps close enough.â
âWhat happened for you to wind up here?â you asked, listening with interest.
Markâs face was impassive. âHeâd kill me if he saw me right now.â
As vague as that answer was, you understood perfectly.
There was irony in his story. He was a gang member, then became a cop? Though you were aware that he could have legally lied to you as much as he so pleased, you believed that he was sincere. You learned by now that Markâs eyes said more than his words ever could.
âWhat about you?â Mark asked. He wasnât looking at you, eyes trained to the big city before him, but you knew his ears were ready. âHowâd you get here?â
âFasten your seatbelt,â you joked. Mark had already heard bits and pieces of your life via the stories of some of your tattoos, but this was full screen. âI think Iâve been a demon from hell before I even walked the earth. According to what Iâve heard, my family was against my mother having me. There was a huge stigma that came with having a baby at a young age and without a present father figure. She died during the delivery.â
âIâm sorry,â Mark said sullenly.
You shook your head and continued, âWater under the bridge. It doesnât get better. Iâve been called a killer since the day I was born. It only made sense that I became one. They said thatâs all I was, so I ran and turned to the streets and found a new home. I was in and out of gangs and had several sketchy jobs.â
Mark bobbed his head, listening intently.
âThere was one gang I thought I would last in. The one I was in before I joined Bloodlust. I even dated one of the members, but he got violent on me one day. I killed him out of self defense. And I got scared, because I knew I couldnât come back to the gang after that. The leader would kill me.â
âIs that when you joined Bloodlust?â
You bobbed your head. âRemember when I told you that Iâm forever indebted to Yuta? Thatâs because he saved my life. Took me under his wing and gave me another job and somewhere safe to stay. Thatâs why weâre so close.âďżź
ďżźâJesus Christ,â Mark said, taking it all in. âYouâve been through hell and back.â
âYouâre telling me,â you groaned.
Peace was not a word of any value to you. Youâd never known what it felt like. The only thing you knew was survival. It was kill or be killed; hunt or be hunted. Life, in your definition, was a series of bad options and choosing the one that was the least loathsome.
After all, you did what you could to live another day. It was never easy, but you learned everything you knew about survival through those everyday choices. You fought for your life every goddamn day and knew nothing different.
It was a battle of strength that required all of your willpower to not succumb.
You blinked when Mark pulled you into a hug. He enjoyed talking to you. Life as either of youâd known it was a bitch, but getting to know you and all youâd been through brought you closer. And all he wanted to do was hold you underneath the moonlight and ease the pain of your scars.
For the most part, the inner circle knew your history, though not from an emotional perspective. The only people youâd ever given an emotional account to were Yuta and now Mark. Yuta was firm on assuring you that yesterday would no longer matter if you worked for him, but Mark made you feel less alone.
Mark was clawing you out of your armor and defenses. You were stripped bare and vulnerable. There was still so much left unseen and for you to explore in this life.
The two of you chatted the night away below the depthlessly starry sky and above the bustling city. You talked about everything under the sun and moon while being sure to share a kiss or two in between. It made you realize that in such a large world, you and Mark were simply two people with a story to share.
But as the time ticked away, the kisses became more frequent and more passionate. You became less interested in the casino and more enamored with Mark. Somewhere along the line your self-restraint snapped into two, and you found yourselves calling it a night and reserving a room at the hotel.
It wasnât any less lavish than the casino. Especially not the suite you booked. There was a hot tub in the room and a balcony extended out the side with yet another picturesque view of the city.
Plus, it was a one-bedroom with a single bed.
Mark sat at the edge of the mattress and you wasted no time in straddling his lap and meeting your lips to his. It felt like an adventure. The wild and reckless and lethal type.
You could savor him on you even after. And it was the burning longing to taste Mark again that ultimately brought you three steps forwards and two steps back.
Mark pulled away, guilt-ridden, and reminded, âIâm a cop.â
He didnât know how he expected you to respond, but you didnât flinch. Like you already knew and you couldnât care less. You offhandedly replied, âI know,â and endeavored to kiss him again.
Mark held you in place. His expression turned stern and you blew out an exasperated sigh. You were lightyears away from being ready to have this conversation. âSo, youâre sleeping with the enemy.â
âI know. But so are you.â
âI know,â Mark said. Lord, did he know.
âThen,â you began, moving for his neck instead and uttering your words in between tiny pecks and nibbles. âWe have nothing to talk about.â
Mark angled your bodies and pinned you down - as if that would stop you - and countered, âWe have a lot to talk about.â
Frustrated, you incredulously groaned, âYou want to talk about how Iâm gonna have to put a round of bullets in your brain in the near future while Iâm trying to fuck you?â
Mark scoffed, âYou mean, Iâm gonna have to hand you in cuffs to the police.â
âIâd like to see you try,â you taunted. It would have been in your best interest to be very careful about what you wished for, though you knew Mark would never. You refused to believe that.
Mark shook his head, laughing. As if heâd read your mind and wholeheartedly agreed that the thought was absurd. âYou know Iâm crazy about you, right?â
âProve it.â
Mark leaned down to kiss you for a half of a second, then whispered in your ear, âI will.â
Then, he switched on a dime, and all of the heat and passion of his desire overcame him again.
You were fucking with a Leo; you should have known that you were in for the most wild ride of your life.
Void of patience, Mark clawed at your clothes roughly. You had the whole night, but he stripped you away as if you had only minutes to spare. The whole time, your lips locked in an impassioned kiss as you tried intensely to keep up with the otherâs rhythm.
âYouâre so fucking beautiful,â Mark growled. He spoke his mind. It was the first thing he thought every time he laid eyes on you.
The tone of his voice had you seeping with arousal, and to hide your desperation, you flirted, âFuck me then, handsome.â
Mark grunted. He couldnât wait anymore. âDo you have a condom?â
âYes, but I have an IUD,â you added, hoping heâd catch your drift.
Mark blinked in realization. âFuck. You want me toâŚâ
âYes,â you groaned, growing more impatient by the minute. âYouâre clean, right?â
âSqueaky.â
âThen, hurry up.â
So much for not seeming desperate.
Mark shed his remaining layers of clothing and you licked your lips at the sight of his cock standing at full height against his stomach. Making out with you always got him hard like nothing else on this planet.
You eyed his movements with anticipation. Your body was burning for him to fill the void that heâd created. Like you werenât complete until he was buried deeply inside you.
Your heart sped as he neared your hole. Mark was nothing if not a tease. He damped himself in your arousal and only pushed in when he heard you whimper, smiling smugly to himself. The first thrust was agonizingly slow. Mark took his sweet time to fit his cock into you, watching your face twist and your breath slow as you took him inch by inch.
There was something about the first thrust that was inexplicably magical to you. Being filled to the hilt with thick heat for the very first time. You held your breath every time.
Then, Mark pulled back out altogether and on cue, you let out an immediate noise of displeasure. âMarkâŚâ
The man in question was firm on reducing you to ash and bones. âBeg,â he growled, leaning low into your ear.
You laughed. As if to tell him he sounded insane. âI donât beg.â
Mark didnât blink when he told you, âYou do today.â His face was void of all humor and he glanced at you expectantly. He dragged his length on top of your pussy, steering just shy of where you needed him. And it was very intentional.
God, did you try to resist, but Mark had grown familiar with your weaknesses in such a short span of time. Every bone in your body ached for him to fill you. To make you complete once more. It begged to be unabridged and tell him your bodyâs every secret story. And your pride was a fair compensation.
You stifled a groan and said faintly, âPlease.â
âCâmon, doll. You can do better than that,â Mark chided playfully, evidently dissatisfied.
You exhaled a sigh and inhaled your pride. âPlease, fuck me, Mark. I canât wait anymore. I need you.â
Mark teased, âNow, was that so hard?â And before you could provide any commentary, he was burying himself inside you yet again.
It wasnât very long before you were content again. You let out a sigh of relief when Mark filled you once more, and another when he thrusted out and pushed back inside. His rough hands gripped your hips and he watched the way your cunt swallowed him whole, as if you simply couldnât get enough of him.
Fuck, you felt like heaven. The way you clamped around him - warm and wet and tight - always set off something animalistic inside of him, but bareback? There was no way in hell he would last.
Mark was only slow to tease you. The moment he exhausted his self-control, he set an uptempo pace. He eyed you like a preying hawk, thinking about how beautiful you were. It was an unshakable thought; you were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Eagerly taking his cock like you were made for it or not.
Everything felt so natural with Mark. Nothing was learned nor taught, it was simply second nature for your body to respond to him with ardency and abidance. It came naturally.
âYou feel so good,â Mark groaned, giving your thigh a little slap as if to punish you for bringing him to ecstasy. And smirking a little when you let out a tiny cry. âWhy do you feel so good?â
You playfully retorted, ââCause Iâm a goddess.â
Mark nodded. âI believe you.â He brought one of his hands from your hips and ventured your perfect body. Perfect in his eyes. Every spot and curve and scar. And the bruises heâd left, of course. âMy Aphrodite.â
You lifted your head a little to clench your teeth into his neck and Mark leaned into you, biting at your shoulder to smother his sounds. Which made you giggle. It always amused you that he was so sensitive to your every touch.
Gosh, you were so goddamn close; skin on skin. Fire wafted over your body, fueled by the flames of his sweltering skin. Sweat beaded at your skin and heat shot through every muscle of your body. The way Mark was pounding into you mercilessly only made you scorch even more. It was impossible to breathe and you loved it. There was no greater feeling than being suffocated by pleasure and arousal.
You locked eyes with Mark and swore you couldnât feel your pulse. Missionary wasnât something you did with Mark very often, but you loved to watch his face tense with pleasure. And making prolonged eye contact caused your heart to swell with something unfamiliar. Something vicious and strong that made your entire body ignite with warmth.
The sex was rough and fast, yet intimate. Mark was just the right amount of all three.
Mark loosely gripped your throat and growled, âTell me you love it.â
You bowed your body into him, moaning, âI love it so much.âÂ
That was the right answer. Mark continued to love you all over. His body never neglected any part of yours, showering you with warmth and pleasure. Like he had nothing but depthless appreciation for you.
The longer Mark fucked you, the less you could think of anything other than him. You forgot about the huge city right outside the balcony. Everyone and everything else melted away and it was only you and Mark chasing the satisfaction of each otherâs bodies and love. ďżź
Love. You were beginning to accept it. There was nowhere to run and no escape; not when Mark was overwhelming you with heated fervor and passion. He was suffocating you with that forbidden four-letter word.
You were beginning to fall in love with Mark.
If love was a poison, you were sipping to your demise and savoring the taste on your tongue. If combining sex with love was a one-way ticket to death, youâd die in Markâs arms. There was no place else youâd rather be.
âAll mine,â Mark growled, pressing kisses down your collarbone and breast to your stomach. All you could feel were tingles that refused to vacate you. Theyâd found a new home.
Softly, you replied, âAll yours.â
There was no arguing with that. The way your body responded to his touch, it was as if you were carefully crafted for Mark and Mark only. Which, the way he fit perfectly inside of you was a testament to.
Mark made you feel rupture and rapture. They were practically indistinguishable. He broke you into a billion tiny pieces that were held together by unfaltering desire.
Just listening to the mess that youâd both created set you ablaze. The wet, resounding clap of Mark slamming his hips into yours as well as your moans and heavy breaths filled the empty air. Your eyes rolled back at the lewd noises. âMark, Mark,â you cried out his name, sensing you were only moments away from the edge.
Mark knew that you were close without asking and he was trailing right behind you by nearly nothing at all. His pace was vigorous, positively trying to fuck your brains out.
You only got closer and closer. His thrusts felt sharper and the pressure continued to build in your gut at a rate quicker than you could handle and far beyond your control. Any moment now, you would be at your breaking point.
âDonât pull out,â you demanded, knowing he wasnât far behind you. It was written all over his face.
Mark grunted at the mere thought of coming inside of you. Needless to say, he had dreamed of letting his release flood you. âWant me to fill you up?â
âYes,â you moaned, craving him more than anything ever. âPlease.â
Mark clamped his fingers around your throat, knowing it would bring you to finish quicker than anything else. âLet go for me, baby,â he said lustfully.
Just like that, you were convulsing with climax. As if he single-handedly controlled every muscle and nerve in your body. The room reeled as you came, voice as loud as it could be with his hand denying you the privilege of breath. Your nails dug harshly into the flesh of his back as your whole body shuddered uncontrollably with release.
You and Mark stared each other in the eyes as you both came. You watched his lips split in a grunt and his orgasm knocked the wind out of him, flaring down his spine. His fingers dug tighter around your throat and his cum filled you all at once. âTake it all,â he ordered, body coming to a halt. âEvery last drop.â
Your body obeyed, still eagerly clinging around his cock. It was like you wanted to bleed each other dry. Him of all of his cum and you of your willpower.
Then, you slowly yet steadily both came to a stop. Mark took his precious time to pull out of you, but watched his seed trickle out of your sweet cunt with adoration. His grip around your neck slackened, and you both settled down to finally breathe for what felt like the first time ever.
It wasnât like you to be so exhausted after a single round, but that night, you were completely spent. You cleaned up a little, then drifted into sleep within the comfort of Markâs embrace.
Mark held your sleeping figure closely, taking all of your warmth and replacing it with his. I love you, he thought gently. And Iâm sorry.
You fell asleep in Markâs arms, and after a long night of dreaming about him in your sleep, woke up in them, too. And you had the biggest smile on your face when you realized that some time between when you fell asleep and when you woke up, Mark had removed your makeup.
You were beginning to love Mark so much that you didnât know what to do with yourself.
Last night was mind-blowing. And not only that, it gave you an epiphany. You wanted Mark in your life. You wanted to wake up in his arms and feel his body on yours. You wanted to kiss him while cuddling beneath the moonlight. You wanted to take over the world with him.
But by doing so, you would have broken one of Bloodlustâs most important rules; disobeying direct orders. The cost? Your life.
All of the warmth of loving Mark you felt for him only moments ago suddenly dissipated into cold unadulterated fear.
You stared at his sleeping face and felt a tear slide down your face. Iâm sorry.
Markâs eyes fluttered open. He wiped your tears with his thumb and asked in his gruff morning voice, âWhy are you crying?â
You smiled and shook your head. âItâs nothing,â you lied.
Though in reality, you were so overwhelmed. And borderline terrified. The last time you loved someone, they tried to violate you. Not to mention you knew the inner circle would never approve of your relationship with Mark.
If you didnât kill him, then they would. And then youâd be next.
âDonât lie to me,â Mark said. He could see that this whole predicament was doing a large number on you. Even the strongest soldiers had their weak points.
You sighed faintly. Then said, âIâll tell you later.â
Markâs hand found yours and squeezed it tightly. âPromise?â
âI promise.â You glanced at his neck, and failed to hide your grin of pride as you saw the pattern of marks youâd left there. Little traces of you flooded his whole body. As traces of him did yours. âMm, did I do that?â
He shifted his glance down and snickered. âYou did.â
You hummed. âI didnât mean to go that far.â
âFor some reason, I donât believe you.â
You gasped in faux offense. Then, broke into a fit of giggles. The sight tugged at Markâs heartstrings and the corners of his lips.
That smile was what made your heart beat. You brought your lips to Markâs in a peck. Or three. Insatiably craving more, Mark held your face and kissed you even longer and harder.
One thing led to another. One second your lips were to his and the next he was lazily fucking you into pieces, moans echoing inside the room in between kisses and giggles.
You were so far gone that there was no redemption.
The weeks flew by at the speed of lightning and in no time at all, you were months deep into Mark. He gave you everything that the narcotics unit had on you thus far, and you were pleasantly surprised to find that it wasnât much at all. They had most of the inner circle identified save for Jaemin (not surprisingly), but the relationships were either vague, inaccurate or a combination thereof.
The only reason Jaemin and Ten hadnât cracked their unit open yet was because of the tight lock they had on all gang-related cases. And they kept their information on physical files. Granted, it was very scarce.
Begrudgingly, of course, you had to give Jisung credit there. Neither Mark or Jeno had caught a glimpse of those imported drugs before in their lives.
Given that you made no attempts to hide your affection, it was broadly known that there was a bond between both you and Mark. You played it off as baiting him; luring him into your trap in order to milk him for everything he knew. Your emotions were kept under wraps when he was the topic of discussion and you fought smiles whenever you heard someone say Markâs name. They fell hook, line, and sinker.
âThey had a hunch that you were Yutaâs girlfriend,â Mark had told you. Now that he was confidently aware that it wasnât the case, he found it laughable. âI was supposed to use you to move in proximity with the inner circle. The best way to take down any organization is to remove the heart, but obviously I never got far.â
Apparently, their source of rationale were photographs of you and Yuta together discreetly taken. It was a lie you fed into, providing Mark fake intel to feed his dangerously nosy co-workers. As always, the less law enforcement knew, the better.
Your shoulders shook with laughter. âYou used to be such a pain in the ass, yâknow? I canât believe you bugged me.â
Mark furrowed his brows. âHuh?â
âDidnât you put a bug in my pocket?â you asked, arching your brows. âAfter the race. You know, when you hugged me?â
âMy hands were on your back,â Mark reminded, confused. As were you. âThat was probably Jeno. But he hasnât mentioned anything to me about it. I never bugged you, baby - I genuinely just wanted a hug.â
You barked, âThe hell is his problem with me? I mean, for an undercover cop heâs obvious as hell. Why send somebody with no prior experience to the danger zone?â
Mark shrugged. He had very little say on the matter. Not that he fought it, either. âThey decided that he was âthe second-most equipped.â Verbatim.â
âI canât imagine why. That night on the rooftop,â you trailed off, shaking your head. âI donât think he trusts you.â
Mark laughed. That was to put it simply. âYeah, me neither. I told him I was fooling around with you to gain your trust - and at first, I was. But not anymore.â
That went without saying. But you still retorted, âIf youâre fucking with me, Mark, Iâll kill you.â
Mark snorted. âIâm sure.â
He wasnât afraid of you. Like you were a puppy posing as a wolf waving your paws at him with puppy eyes. Mark, threatened by you? As if. You were his fucking baby.
Long nights of feeding Bloodlust intel on the narcotics unit, then coming home to Mark passed by. Youâd eventually given him your address and permitted him to go inside. He quite liked your home. It looked and smelled like you. He never knew what to imagine when it came to the interior of your house, but upon seeing, it made perfect sense.
Pictures of you and your friends scattered around the house. None of you by yourself and none with your family. Little plants growing healthily. You mentioned that they were high-maintenance. Your favorite blankets in a heap on the sofa. And a bookshelf brimming with novels. Mark was pleasantly surprised to learn that you were a major bookworm. And a closeted romantic.
It was close to midnight when you heard someone behind you. Very swiftly, you were endeavoring to arrive safely to the garage where your car waited, though you knew that there was no chance of making it in one piece without confrontation. You turned a corner and patiently drew your gun; it wasnât very often that you ventured into the night alone past sunset, but you damn sure made certain that your gun was tucked to yourself.
There was a familiar negative energy all around you. It was impossible to ignore - far too suffocating and too distinguishable to be neglected.
Not surprising in the slightest, it was Jeno who rounded the corner. With his usual scowl, and an aimed gun. ďżź
Narrowing your eyes, you snapped, âWhat do you want?â
Jeno smiled. It was the first time youâd seen his lips form anything other than a crooked frown, but it still exuded that same level of cold grimness. âI think you know what I want.â
You studied Jeno for a moment. For someone who believed you were the second-in-commandâs girlfriend, he showed you no fear, grip on his gun firm as he aimed it squarely at your chest. Apparently, you were a woman that was loyal to no one but herself in the eyes of the law. Which made you all the more unpredictable. âI know that youâre not who you say you are,â you began levelly, inching closer. âI know everything there is to know about you, Jeno.â
âBecause Mark told you, right?â Jeno snarled. âI know a lot about you, too - like how youâve been whoring yourself out to Mark because you know that heâs easy. He was ripe for the picking and thatâs why they stuck me with him; because they knew he needed grounding.â
That made you bristle with anger, but you kept a lid over your temper and retorted, âThat sounds like a nice little fairy tale. Is that what youâre going to tell the big boss?â
Ignoring you, Jeno continued, âThe world will know the truth about you and this whole gang. Youâre more than the bitch they pay to secretly do their bidding. Before you were Scar, you were a gang-hopper.â
Seething, you lunged at Jeno with the gun. He blocked the attack - courtesy of your blindness from the rage that ran down your spine - and cocked his gun at you.
And then there was a loud, piercing gunshot.
But you were never shot. Jenoâs grip on his gun slackened and fell to the ground with him. He lay there gaping, a hand over his stomach that bled profusely. And glancing not at you; behind you. When you turned around, Mark emerged from the corner around you and stepped out of the shadows to approach you.
âYou should be more careful,â Mark chided. âWhat if it wasnât me behind you?â
Though you wanted to smile, you couldnât. There was a tormenting question on your brain. How does Jeno know about my past?
âMark,â Jeno choked out, nearly coughing up blood. He raised his arm with all of his strength and pointed with a trembling finger. âMark isâŚ,â
Mark didnât let him finish, cutting Jeno off with a bullet to the head. Whatever he was going to say died with him.
Rather than feeling relieved, you were unnerved. Mark killed Jeno to protect you. Love made people do crazy things - that you knew better than anyone else, but Mark seemed colder than youâd ever seen him before. He didnât waver; unhesitating and unremorseful.
As if this wasnât his first rodeo.
âYou never mentioned telling the team about my past.â
Mark cast you a glance. âThatâs because I didnât.â
You narrowed your eyes and whispered, âThen, how did Jeno know?â
Mark caught onto what you were hinting at and his face swiftly softened. There was no way in hell that he would do anything to hurt you. And he needed you to know that. âI never said a word about your past to him, baby. I swear. I donât know how he found out, but you need to know that Iâd never air out any of your business.â
There were other possibilities, too. Your past wasnât exactly private - that you knew. He could have contacted your old friends, or heard the gossip of the low-ranks. Any of those roads were open, but it meant more if Mark himself exposed you. That was unacceptable.
You blew out a sigh and reminded yourself that Mark had been in gangs before - he most likely had bodies. As always, you were just paranoid. You believed that everyone was out to get you because the people that were meant to embrace you released you into the cold.
Hiding your gun, you pulled Mark into your embrace and whispered, âIâm sorry.â
âDonât be sorry,â Mark murmured. âJust tell me that you trust me.â
âI trust you,â you told him. No reluctance, no shame. And I love you.
You knew that Mark loved you too. In your heart and bones. He had killed for you.
You called someone to discard Jeno's corpse and went home with Mark. The two of you talked and fell asleep by each otherâs side. It was more or less a routine.
But when you woke up, Mark wasnât there. You called out his name; no response. You looked inside the bathroom and he wasnât there. The living room, kitchen, and all of his favorite spots inside your house were almost void of life.
Mark wasnât there and it was downright laughable that that frightened you to your very core, but he never left without telling you. You scanned your memories of last night for any warning and ultimately came short.
It wasnât the first time that youâd woken up alone, but more often than not, you woke up in each otherâs arms. Occasionally, one of you would be in the bathroom or kitchen, but you never left the house without mentioning it the night before or leaving some form of text or note.
Though when you checked your phone, it was empty.
And so, you began to do the one thing you very seldom did; panic. There was no indication that Mark had been forced out of your house, but the depthless list of possibilities unnerved you. You prayed that he was somewhere safe. That at most, maybe heâd simply forgotten. You would have scolded him for getting you wound up over nothing, but at least he would be out of harmâs way.
There was a knock at your front door and hoping it was Mark, you rushed to open it, but you frowned when you were met with the face of a man that youâd never seen before.
The stranger said, âHi. Iâm Huang Renjun and I know you donât know me, but youâve got to get the fuck out of here. Right now.â
You blinked. Then, shut the door on him. It was too goddamn early for this foolishness.
Undeterred, Renjun opened the door again and welcomed himself inside. This town wasnât big enough for two stubborn assholes.
You screeched, âThe hell, man?â
Renjun exclaimed, âDo you want to die?â
âI literally do not know who the fuck you are!â
âYes. I thought I made that very clear,â Renjun hissed, gritting his teeth. âBut you do know Alexander Lee.â
In an instant, you were rendered gorgonized like a gargoyle. That name never failed to put you in a borderline unresponsive stupor. Anything regarding Alexander âLexâ Lee plagued your heart and body with crisp fear.
âI donât want anything that has to do with Lex,â you replied, shaking your head and backing away.
This game of hide-and-seek had kept you on your toes for ages now. Youâd spent the last years of your life off the grid to take cover from him and now this? Hell no.
Renjun briefly studied you. For someone rumored to have looked death in the face and blown him a kiss, it was not at all lost on him how terrified youâd suddenly become at the mere mention of Lexâs name. It was a warranted fear - the one that made you tick. âIâm sure. But if you donât leave this place as soon as possible, heâs going to kill you.â
âAnd Iâm supposed to just trust you?â you whispered, all the bite in your voice demolished by terror.
âMark sent me.â
You blinked. âWhat?â
Renjun groaned, though didnât elaborate. It was no mystery how you and Mark got along. For one, you were both a pain in ass and a thorn in his side. Instead, he drew his phone from his pocket and dialed a number. And put the phone on speaker.
âDo you have her?â came Markâs voice.
Renjun said exasperatedly, âLetâs try âHello, Renjun.â Or âHi.â Most people say that when they pick up the phone, you know.â
âMark,â you breathed, relieved to hear his voice. He was somewhere out there. But you were hurt that he left you.
Ignoring Renjun, Mark greeted, âHi, doll.â
Renjun only wished he had time to argue. He would have burned your lover alive for greeting you instead of him, but the clock was ticking. He already had too many irons in the fire. âHurry up and talk some sense into your girl, Mark. She doesnât believe me.â
Your girl, he had said. Markâs girl. For a split second, your heart brimmed with warmth.
Mark began from across the line, âListen to me, baby. I know this is sudden and Iâll explain everything as soon as I get the chance, but you need to trust me and listen to Renjun. Okay?â
Your heart sank. âWhatâs going on?â
âNo time to explain,â Mark told you curtly. âJust do this for me. Please.â
You blew out a sigh. This was too much too soon. Ultimately, you decided to trust Mark. âOkay.â
Mark blurted, âI love you.â
A pained smile curled your lips. âI love you more.â
âAlright, funâs over,â Renjun interjected. He would not stick around for your lovey-dovey mess. Especially not when lives were on the line and in jeopardy. âWeâll talk to you later, Mark. You go get dressed and come on.â
Begrudgingly, you did as told, rushing upstairs to throw on an appropriate outfit before you headed back down and got inside a car with a man that youâd known for less than fifteen minutes.
As soon as you were on the road, you reminded yourself that you had no idea what was happening and where you were going, and asked, âWhere are we going?â
Renjun replied, âSomewhere safe.â
Vague. You didnât like that. âAre you a cop?â
âNo.â
âDo you work with Mark?â
âNot in the way that you think,â Renjun responded, patiently quickly evaporating into thin air.
You pressed, âThen, in what way?â
Gosh, you were aggravating. In his mind, Renjun was likening you to a child that persistently asked their parents, âAre we there yet?â during long road trips. âJesus, woman! Would you stop badgering me?â
You narrowed your eyes and faced the window so that you wouldnât lunge at him. âI just want to know whatâs going on. You mention Lex Lee - the man thatâs been indirectly making my life hell for the last years of my life - and expect me to not have questions?â
You had him there. Alexander was the devil himself and anyone that had known him for five minutes could most likely back you up. His goons were lightly compensated and offered little leeway, and the worst part was the hierarchy system.
Everyone was inferior to someone save for Lex, and the designated high-ranks were equally crooked. They schemed to get away with stepping out of line directly under his nose, often pinning the blame on low-ranking members to avoid lethal retribution.
That was why you were scared shitless to return that day. Lex and your ex-boyfriend were like brothers. It didnât matter what you told him happened to you - youâd be lucky if he cared. Let alone believed you.
Renjun heaved a breath. You had a very fair argument. âLex is looking for you. Heâs attacked Bloodlustâs headquarters. Thatâs why Mark wants me to keep you safe.â
âWhat?â you shrieked in terror. âI have to go back there!â
Renjun turned onto another street and shook his head, eyeing the roads for Lexâs hounds. âItâs not safe. Do you hear me? Itâs not safe. You were scared shitless of anything involving Lex three seconds ago.â
âI donât care,â you hissed. âThis is my battle. Iâll be damned if I let anyone else fight it for me. Yuta saved my life - now itâs my turn.â
Renjun balked, âNo, itâs not. I know about Bloodlust. They protect you as long as you do their bidding. So let them do their goddamn job.â
Gritting your teeth, you crossed your arms and stared out the window, watching buildings and signs whirl by in a blur. It was clear that Renjun would not be wooed by you, but you refused to sit and do nothing. Especially when his connection - or Markâs - to Lex was unknown. There had to be another way.
Recognizing the road you turned onto, you had an idea. It was reckless and extremely dangerous, but you wouldnât let that deter you. Not when the better half of your life consisted of making life-threatening choices. There was the option to take the hard way or the easy way out.
And youâd be damned if you took the easy way.
Calculating, you counted down the seconds in your head until you could make your move. The moment you were down to one, you moved at the speed of light and swung the car door open, launching yourself out and rolling into an area of enclosed grass.
You grabbed your gun from your purse and aimed squarely at Renjunâs tires, sending him swerving somewhere. He screamed in the distance, âYou sick psychopathic bitch!â
Iâve heard that before, too, you thought to yourself with levity. And then, like your life depended on it, you bolted.
Dusting away dirt and twigs, you sprinted and sprinted and sprinted. The street was close to the garages. Obviously, your car wasnât there, but there were plenty that were.
You bust through the garage and scanned each of the open slots for your unlucky victim. There were several people, most polishing up their cars before tonightâs race. And you swiftly made your pick, not having time to linger.
You snatched one of the racerâs keys and asked breathlessly, âCan I borrow these? Thanks, youâre the best!â
Screams of protest were your less than pleased response, but you had already made a distance on the garage by the time anyone thought to react. The moment you were on a road, you let out a thick, heavy breath.
Forget crazy. You were out of your goddamn mind.
You sped as fast as you could without going over the limit, given you had already committed two crimes in broad daylight. The last thing you needed was a high-speed police chase.
The east side of the headquarters was the closest and you drove like the devil. The closer you neared, the faster your heart echoed in your chest. You hoped Mark wasnât there, but with his knowledge of Lex, you had aching questions numb you to your love. And you prayed your boss decided to take an off day.
Alas, the building was - metaphorically speaking - ablaze when you arrived there. A grating dissonance of screams and gunshots filled the distant air. Lex had called war on Bloodlust via this ambush, but not knowing who was winning completely unnerved you.Â
You got out of the car and approached the building through the rear side. Conveniently, there were emergency exits installed in scatters around the headquarters designed for similar occasions. Discreetly, you entered through one, and steered clear of the noise as you stealthily made your way upstairs. It was in your best interest to remain undetected. For all they knew, you werenât here.Â
Creeping around corners, you held your breath. As if the slightest sound would have you killed on the spot. The loud halls that echoed with gunshots terrified you, but the eerily silent ones were too quiet to be relieving.Â
Whirling around the corner, you parted your lips to scream when you bumped into someone, and they clamped their palm over your mouth. âShut the fuck up,â Jisung growled, looking both ways like a civilian crossing the street. When he deemed the close clear, he released you. âWhat the hell are you doing here?â
Heaving, you asked, âHave you seen Yuta or Mark?âÂ
Jisung answered you with complete disinterest and disdain, and said, âYutaâs been unresponsive. As for loverboy, heâs the reason youâre in this mess.âÂ
You realized that youâd blown your cover the second you mentioned Mark, but you didnât care. For the sake of your heart and mind, you needed to trust and believe that he was safe. You wouldnât know how to go on without him. How to unlearn everything youâd gotten so accustomed to in his presence.Â
âWhat do you mean, unresponsive?â you repeated, lost for words. âAnd the reason? What the hell are you talking about?âÂ
Jisung pinched his nose and shook his head. âForget it. Figure that shit out yourself.âÂ
He turned around and walked away, Part of you was tempted to scream after him, though the sight of a man emerging from the shadows behind Jisung - armed with murder on his mind - silenced you. For some reason, everything in your body told you to pick up your gun and shoot. You complied, and shot fire.Â
Jisung whirled back around in time to watch the man hit the ground, gone without knowing what hit him. He rooted to the spot, gaze rising to your figure and noticing the gun in your grasp. âDid you justâŚâ
âSave your life?â you finished. âYeah. Youâre welcome.â
Jisung blew out a sigh. He was many things, including your mortal enemy, but he had a moral compass and in that moment he owed you his life. He glanced around once more, then told you, âMark is a member of The Basilisks.â
You wanted to laugh. âWhat?â
Jisung made his tone as menacing as possible and added, âDonât say I didnât warn you. But your loverboy isnât who you think he is. Jaemin followed up on him today. Markâs cousin is Alexander Lee and heâs been in that gang since a little after you started working for Yuta.â
Your heart sank. You wanted to deny it with everything you had, but it made sense. How else would Mark know Lex? He even mentioned that his cousin made a gang. Stupid, you told yourself. Youâre so fucking stupid.Â
God, you wished the ground would swallow you whole. You wanted to isolate yourself from the rest of the world and rot to bones. Mark had gotten under your skin, reduced you to your true, bare self. He had seen all of the good and bad; the beautiful and ugly. You felt comfortable enough to be more vulnerable with him than you ever had anyone else. Was all of that in vain? Â
The Basilisk Bikerâs. It hurt so goddamn much. You felt so used and betrayed. And empty. Like you had poured your mind, body, heart and soul into loving Mark and had nothing left to spare.Â
Maybe you did.Â
Jisung saw the sadness in your eyes and felt a pang of something he had never felt for you before. It didnât feel right. Your eyes always gleamed with fire, but your flame was demolished. He wanted to hug you, but it wasnât his embrace that you needed at the moment. He doubted you would want it in the first place.Â
Instead, he said, âYou have to get out of here.â
âI have to find Yuta,â you argued, gritting your teeth.Â
âWhat if heâs safe?â
Without missing a beat, you shot, âWhat if heâs not?âÂ
Jisung had argued with you enough in his lifetime to know that you were headstrong and demanded your way. If you wanted something enough, there was absolutely nothing on this earth that could stop you from chasing it. But he also knew that the moment something happened to you once he left you alone, your blood would be on his hands. âIâm going with you.â
You shrugged and replied, âSuit yourself.â Then, began to make your way up the stairs. The elevators were too risky.Â
You fought tears and focused yourself on your boss. Youâd be damned if you cried while anyone was watching. You had taken a bullet tougher than this. Toughen up, you hissed inwardly.Â
The long staircase had made you realize just how large the headquarters was. In your head, you had always thought of it as a second home. Now, it was being destroyed by your first one.Â
When you reached the floor of Yutaâs office, you stepped onto the ground, peeking around and spotting Basilisks. Jisung whispered, âIâll distract them. You go check his office.âÂ
You nodded. Jisung did exactly what he said that he would, and you set out for Yutaâs office. Just from standing outside the door, you could tell that it was empty. But you needed to see for yourself. You counted down from three, attempting to soothe your rapidly moving mind, and barged inside.Â
The sight unnerved you. Yuta was nowhere to be found, but the room was completely wrecked. Like he was blitzed and fought like hell against his attacker.Â
There was little trace of him. No sign of where he was or where heâd gone. Not even traces of blood. Just his belongings toppled over in a heap and his window completely open, curtains blustering.Â
âFind something interesting here?â
Fear riveted you in place. You took your time to turn around, met face to face with a man straight out of a nightmare.Â
âLex,â you exhaled thickly, the wind knocked out of you.
Lex smiled wickedly. There was a gun in his hand. âLong time no see, old friend.â
You shook your head viciously and screamed, âWhere the hell is my boss?âÂ
Lex inched closer, closing in on you as if he was going to make you walk off of a plank. You took steps backwards, colliding with Yutaâs desk. âWell, I could tell you, but whereâs the fun in that?â
âYou son of a bitch,â you hissed.
As if he didnât hear you, Lex continued, âIt wounded me real bad when you left, yâknow. Word on the street is that this Yuta fool had you sold in less than a day. Then, I find out you killed Riley,â Lex laughed. âWhew, I was livid!â
âYou were going to kill me,â you said, moving around the desk as swiftly as possible. You never wanted to leave. There were people in that gang that you considered family and you missed them everyday of your life. You never wanted to leave them behind.Â
âDamn right, I was!â Lex shouted. He didnât sound angry - he sounded insane. That was arguably worse. âWith my bare goddamn hands!â
You shook your head, fighting to remain calm. Lexâs weakness was his anger, but so was yours. If you stayed rational, you had a fighting chance at survival. âI didnât want to kill Riley. You have to trust me on that, Lex. He was trying to push me into things I wasnât ready for. I didnât have a choice.âÂ
Pretending to care, Lex crooned, âYou have a choice now. Come back home. Letâs be a family again. The girls missed you the worst.âÂ
Or else what? You knew your other unspoken choice was gruesome as they always had been, but you also knew that Lex was full of shit. There was no way in hell that he would let you off that easily.Â
Or alive, for that matter.Â
You knew what your options were, because you knew Alexander Lee better than anyone else alive. He was a wolf in sheepâs clothing. A narcissist if you knew one, blind to his flaws. He was manipulative and deceptive, but worst of all, he had not a shred of mercy.Â
If anyone was going to take your life from you, it wouldnât be Lex. You refused to grant him that pleasure. And you knew very well that the only reason you were still alive and breathing was because he wanted to kill you with his own bare hands. Nobody would be given the satisfaction of taking your life if not you.
You shook your head and swore, âOver my dead body.âÂ
Then, you leapt out of the window.
And crash landed onto the balcony on the floor below you. You struck the deep trenches of your memory, reminding yourself that Yuta once mentioned that he refused to get a balcony like the rest of the members. He claimed that in times of crisis, he wouldnât regret his decision. And you chose to believe that that was how he escaped. It was a graceless fall. It hurt like a bitch, but what mattered was that you were still alive. Somehow.Â
You raced through the floor in case Lex was crazy enough to follow you.Â
You ran and you ran and you ran for your life. Your legs ached from all of the reckless stunts youâd pulled today, but you never stopped running. The thoughts seeped into your mind, going miles per minute, trying to outmatch the speed of your feet. You thought of your family and felt pain. You thought of Lex and felt fear. You thought of your old friends and felt regret. You thought of Yuta and felt dread. You thought of Mark and felt stone-cold betrayal.
But you also felt love. Your heart hammered like it was trying to wreck its way through your chest. You wanted some kind of explanation for this, one that would make all of the pain fade, but you knew that there was none.Â
How could Mark tell you that he loved you but work aside the same man that made your life a living hell? Your heart was crying blood. It bled and beat for him all at once.Â
Adrenaline made you numb to the pain of everything except for your wounded heart. Maybe you were wrong. Maybe there was someone else that would be granted the satisfaction of taking your life. Giving Mark the key to your heart was like handing him a gun and telling him to shoot. Your heart begged for the one person that you were forbidden to have.Â
Speak of the devil, they say. And he shall appear.Â
Somewhere in the run for your life, you bumped directly into Mark. He looked relieved and displeased to see you all at once.Â
Mark grabbed you and whispered, âBabyâŚâ
You swatted his hands away and cried, âDonât call me that!âÂ
Mark reached for your hand, squeezing tightly. There was no levity in his tone when he said, âIâm not doing any of this to hurt you. I swear on my life. You just need to trust me.â
âNo,â you shouted, fighting like hell to keep your tears at bay. They stung your eyes, but he didnât deserve to see them fall. âYouâve been lying to me this whole time and expect me to trust you? Thatâs not how that works, Mark.âÂ
âI know,â Mark agreed. âAnd you have every right to be pissed at me for what Iâm about to do.âÂ
Before you had the chance to ask questions, Mark pulled you to his chest and clamped his palm over your mouth, then shouted, âOver here - Iâve got her!âÂ
Basilisks began to fill your vision. They circled you like a shark to its prey, guns aimed. You noticed familiar faces around you, and you couldnât blame them for any vengeful feelings they felt for you. Mark shoved you in the middle by yourself, like he was presenting his artwork to them, proud of his product.Â
Lex spoke to Mark, but you tuned in and out, their words being reduced to white noise. You felt so much pain and fear that your body began to numb your senses in self-preservation. It was too much to bear.Â
This is it, you thought somberly. This is my end. Part of you was satisfied with that. You were so tired. You had worked your whole life and experienced loss to loss with no breaks in between. No breathing room. If you werenât a sinner, you would have believed that you would finally meet your mother.Â
Then again, depending on who you asked, she was a sinner too.Â
âThought you could run from me,â Lex taunted, clearly amused. âI thought you would have learned by now. No one escapes me. No one escapes their fate.âÂ
He was right. After all, you had nowhere to run this time. Not with over a dozen guns pointed squarely at your head.
All you wanted was for him to make this quick. To put you out of your misery already. Add one more scar to your body in completion.Â
Lex tilted his head. âAny last words?â
Without hesitation, you spat, âFuck you.âÂ
Lex burst into laughter. Then, much to your surprise, said, âMark, finish her.â
You stayed still and held your breath, knowing this was the inevitable end. But you couldnât look at Mark. It would hurt you too much.
Then, The Basilisks switched on a dime and aimed their guns at Lex - including Mark. Stupidly, you stood there blinking. Lisa - one of your old friends - had to pull you out of harmâs way. She whispered, âYouâre safe. Everythingâs gonna be okay now.âÂ
Too stunned to speak, you stood gawking.Â
Lex blurted, âWhat the hell do you all think youâre doing?âÂ
âThis has to end, Alexander. And it ends with you,â Mark began, casting his cousin an unsympathetic glance. âFor the past decade, youâve been making everyone here's life a living hell. How much longer did you think we were going to put up with that bullshit?âÂ
Lex began to stumble backwards, reaching for escape, but one of the Basilisks named Yangyang pushed him back into the circle, then said, âWoah, woah, woah - where do you think youâre going, big guy?âÂ
Realizing he was cornered, Lex turned to stare at his cousin in disbelief. âReally? Your own flesh and blood, Mark?âÂ
Mark let out a remorseless chuckle. âDonât pretend to have a moral compass now. Hereâs the thing, Lex. Everyone here considers each other family and youâve fucked every last one of us over. You donât give a flying fuck about blood and flesh; all you care about is power. You like that you can kill whoever - whenever - and our fate lies in your hands.â
âIt used to,â Yangyang corrected from the sidelines. âNow, the tables have turned. You get to feel whatâs like to be on the other side of torture.âÂ
Another Basilisk - Seulgi - spoke up from the crowd, voice dripping with the bite of venom, âYou pay us less than weâre worth to do your bidding and you let those sons of bitches get away with framing us - but impose the death rule so that we canât leave. Weâre fed the hell up, Lex.â
The death rule was simply that. Nobody was allowed to leave. Your only escape was the dark void of death. It was more or less a pre-prison for gangsters.Â
Unless, you ran away. In Basilisk history, you were the only successful runaway.Â
You simply watched in amusement, feeling a wound in you healed. Never in a million years would you have imagined a dream like this come true. It was better than anything youâd ever hoped for. Itâs over.Â
âI donât do last words,â Mark mocked, cocking his gun. âGoodbye, cousin.âÂ
The sound of a gunshot resonated throughout the hall, and Alexander dropped to the floor in vanquish.Â
âIt really is over,â Lisa repeated. Until then, you hadnât realized that youâd said those words aloud. You were out of your body.Â
You grabbed her hand. âLetâs get out of here?â
Lisa cocked a brow. âWhat about lover boy?âÂ
You gaped. âYou know?â
âOh, please. Mark tells us a lot about you. He acts like weâve never met you before. Itâs hard to get him to shut up sometimes,â Lisa scoffed.Â
Mark talks about me. That made your heart swell with emotion, but you pushed them aside. âIâm still mad at him. Letâs go before he makes me change my mind.âÂ
Giggling, Lisa told you, âLead the way.âÂ
You did as told, leading her outside. For now, you pushed your worries away. They would return, but you were simply glad to connect with an old friend for the meantime. A very special one at that.Â
Hand in hand, you brought Lisa to one of the balconies. The wind whipped through her hair as you both faced the city. The memories were a mixture of pained and blissful. They stung your heart, yet filled you with impalpable joy.Â
After a moment of silence, Lisa whispered, âYou never said goodbye.âÂ
âI know.âÂ
She whirled around to face you, a pained expression on her face. âThat hurt.âÂ
âI know,â you said, frowning. âAnd Iâm sorry.âÂ
Lisa faced the early morning city again. Like looking at you would be her breaking point. âYou did what you had to do. I canât hold that against you. I was just scared that youâd forget me.âÂ
You called her name austerely and slightly rolled up your shirt, then spoke like you were delivering a speech, âI carry a piece of you with me everyday. Every time I look in the mirror, I think of you. Pain is temporary, but this scar is forever. It is a constant reminder of you and what our friendship means to me. I canât forget that.âÂ
Lisa gazed at your scar fondly. She remembered how you got it like it was yesterday. You jumped in front of a bullet to save her life. You were so goddamn stupid, but damn did she love you for it.Â
She pulled you into a hug. And you smiled.
âI moved on,â Lisa mentioned once she pulled away. âI found someone.â
Your eyes widened, your smile broadened. âWho is she?â
Lisa smiled involuntarily at the thought of her mystery woman. Once upon a time, she smiled at you like that. âJennie.â
âNo way,â you said, jaw dropping.Â
âYes, way,â Lisa smirked. âLove always finds a way. Sometimes the one meant for you is the person youâd least expect. Itâs ironic, isn't it?â
You groaned, âYouâre telling me.â
Lisa studied you. Never in a million years would she have imagined that the two of you would be having a conversation like this, but she was content to hear your voice again. At one point, she thought sheâd lost you forever. âYou love him.âÂ
It was clear who âhimâ was. You sighed out, âI do. So much. I donât know what to do with myself.â
Lisa snickered, but suddenly became stern and said, âMark didnât do any of this to hurt you. He would never. He was scared half to death when Renjun called and said youâd jumped out of a car to come here. As crazy as that sounds, Iâm not surprised. Youâre full of crazy.âÂ
You laughed lightheartedly. âIâve done worse.â
âI know. Like, jumped in front of a bullet,â Lisa retorted, then continued. âListen, that boy is head over heels in love with you. I would know. What he did back there wasnât a part of the initial plan, but heâs in control of this whole scheme and we urged him to do what he thought was best. He knew you would hate him for this, but he wanted to protect you from Lex for good.âÂ
The tears were coming back and you blinked them away. âReally?â
âIt was hard to keep him from socking Lex in the jaw for talking down on you sometimes. He was ready to risk it all for you. Thatâs how much he loves you. Donât punish him for that,â Lisa said, smiling ruefully. Then, she presented you with some levity. âNot for too long.â
You laughed like the two old friends you were. You never forgot what those days were like. To be together with people you considered family, you were happy. And now you were no longer forbidden to see each other.
Lisa patted your back. âGo get him.â
âRight now?â you asked, gaping in disbelief.Â
âRight now,â she repeated, memories of a morose Mark returning. âAny longer and I think heâll fling himself off one of these balconies.â
âOh, brother,â you sighed. âWill you be okay?â
âAs long as you donât leave me for another six years.âÂ
You smiled and held out your pinky finger for her to intertwine with hers. âI wonât. I promise.âÂ
Lisa locked pinkies with you. Then, she let you go for the second time and set you free.Â
You found Mark somberly glancing into the distance. His mood seemed to instantly lighten when the sound of you slumping beside him steered him from his reverie.
âHi.â
Mark rubbed his neck. âHey.âÂ
âIâm sorry,â you told him apologetically. âI should have trusted you.â
Mark blurted, âWhat? No. Iâm the one that should be sorry. Iâve been keeping secrets from you this whole time. I should have told you.âÂ
âYouâre right,â you replied. You switched on a dime, beginning to knock at his chest fiercely. âWhat were you thinking?â
He was hardly thinking. It was difficult - he couldnât function knowing that your life was on the line. You being there meant he had to change his plans entirely because he refused to let anything happen to you. His heart was screaming when Renjun told him about the stunt youâd pulled. Above all else, all he wanted was for you to let him protect you. âIâm sorry, doll. Will a kiss make it better?âÂ
You paused. Then, sang, âNot sure. Kiss me and find out.â
Mark shook his head in delight. âWith pleasure.â
Mark enveloped your lips in a kiss. He kissed you like heâd never get the chance again. As if this was his last day to love and hold you, but also as if he hadnât felt your touch in years. It was so indescribably passionate. The only way you could explain was that it felt like love. Until you met Mark, you thought that youâd been cursed with the inability to fall for someone else again.
When youâd both had your fill, you pulled away for good and asked, âBut I am curious - youâre a cop and a gang member at the same time?â
Mark had been waiting for that one. He cradled you in his arms and replied smoothly, âMy job in the gang is to be their eyes in law enforcement. Alongside the biking, we became heavily involved in drug trafficking. Itâs my job to steer the police off course and ensure they donât go looking into The Basilisks.âÂ
âAnd thatâs how you got here,â you added, the pieces coming together to form one big picture.
âYup. I was assigned to look into Bloodlust. Itâs no secret that this is where you hid and Lex wanted me to use this case to lure you out. At first, I intended to follow orders. But then I fell for you, baby. And I knew that only over my dead body would I let anything happen to you.â
âRomantic,â you purred. Then, you remembered something and your eyes filled with worry. âHave you seen Yuta?â
âHeâs fine,â Mark assured. âThey all are. They know this building well. Thatâs their advantage.â
You blew out a sigh of semi-relief. âWe have to come clean.â
Mark blinked. âNow?âÂ
âNow or never.âÂ
Mark slipped his fingers through yours and brought you to your feet. âOkay. Letâs tell them.â
You smiled. You didnât want to hide Mark anymore. You wanted to profess your love for him from the rooftops. And you knew in your heart that he wanted to do the very same.Â
That was how you found yourself in Taeyongâs much larger office. Yet again, he stood alongside Yuta and Ten. It was a little frightening, but you wouldnât let them unnerve you. You were bold in your love.
Lightheartedly, Yuta tried to lighten the mood with levity, âThis is the infamous Markie.â
Mark shook his hand. âDom Toretto.â
You cleared your throat. âDonât mind him - he watches a lot of movies.âÂ
Taeyong cut to the chase. âYou disobeyed direct orders.âÂ
You stiffened, knowing he was talking directly to you. You met his gaze and didnât falter. âYes.â
âAnd you were aware that you were disobeying direct orders - and of the punishment that shall follow.â
âThat is correct.â
Taeyong arched his brow, amused by your boldness. It took guts to disobey the king of the empire. He sat and reclined in his seat and told you sternly, âGive me one good reason why I shouldnât kill both of you right now.âÂ
The gun resting patiently on his desk did not go unnoticed by you, but you dug into your heels and held Markâs arm firmly. You were honest. âI have none. Iâve disobeyed and deceived you while aware of the consequences. I apologize for that, but I wonât apologize for loving him and I wonât let you kill him without killing me first.âÂ
Ten heaved a breath and took off his glasses, massaging his temple. Then, Yuta leapt up and shouted, âYes! Run me my money!â
You blinked, only able to watch as Taeyong and Ten exasperatedly drew money from their pockets. Then, it hit you and you shrieked, âYou bet money on me?â
âDamn right I did,â Yuta replied, not sparing you a glance as he counted his money.Â
Noticing the ridiculously perplexed looks on you and Markâs faces, Ten explained, âYutaâs had a sneaking suspicion that you were lying about the severity of your relationship with Mark. Jisung tried to tell us, but Taeyong and I thought he was biased because of how much you argue. Clearly not.âÂ
Taeyong deadpanned, âRemind me not to make any more deals with either of you where money is concerned.âÂ
Mark pulled you to his chest, smiling. Some things you just couldnât hide. His love for you was one of them. âSo, weâre off the hook?âÂ
âI usually don't hesitate to punish people for defiance, but Iâll make an exception just this once,â Taeyong replied, smiling wryly. âI take it that your cousinâs gang is in your hands now. Donât cause any trouble and youâre fine in my book.â
Mark nodded. He glanced down at you and knew that that wouldnât be a problem. âDeal.âÂ
That night, you and Mark danced in each other's arms, refusing to let go. It was like nothing could come in between you. You knew now that your love was worth the battle and the war. Love always finds a way, a dear friend had told you.Â
You asked over the music, âWanna do something really crazy?âÂ
Mark looked at you, eyeâs screaming, âYes!â He would do anything for you - give you the world if you wanted it. Instead of borderline professing his love for you and telling you things that you already knew, he asked, âLike what?âÂ
âLetâs go to Vegas.â
Mark chortled. âThat is kinda crazy.â
You argued, âThink about it - no one knows us there. Itâll just be me and you in a city full of people. Doesnât that sound romantic?âÂ
Mark hushed you and said, âBaby, please. I was already buying the plane tickets.â
You snickered. You knew you had Mark right where you wanted him. And it felt so goddamn good.Â
You and Mark stumbled out of the tattoo parlor. Given the long flight, you were utterly spent when you arrived, but the second you recharged you knew exactly what you wanted to do.
Get matching tattoos.Â
Initially, you thought it would have been difficult to convince Mark to get a tattoo with you. After all, they were permanent. But he was surprisingly willing and pleased with the results.Â
âTo a lifetime and a half with you,â Mark told you, mounting the bike youâd left at the curbside of the parlor. You wanted to see how well he could drive one.Â
Grabbing the pink helmet he handed you, you beamed. Happiness made your heart beat and your blood circulate. âTo a lifetime and a half with my Markie pooh,â you teased.Â
Mark rolled his eyes and wrapped your arms around his waist. âHold on tight.âÂ
You yelped when the motorbike jerked to life beneath you, and then you were soaring down the roads of Las Vegas, carefree and in love. Nobody could tell you anything when you were with the love of your life.
Love was the greatest weapon of all.Â
#mark smut#nct 127 smut#nct dream smut#nct smut#mark lee x reader#nct imagines#mark lee imagines#mark lee smut#nct x reader#nct#nct scenarios
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The John Post
The thing about John Gaius is like⌠a lot of people refuse to recognize him as like a Bad Guy, and a lot of people criticize tlt for having him as a Bad Guy, for similar reasons. I think a lot of people have these ideas that colonialism and empire and the vague concept of "war crimes" are bad due to some kind of ontological evil within the souls of white men or something, and that misogyny and the objectification of women exist due to some kind of ontological evil within the souls of straight men. Relating to the former, I think a lot of people hold a sort of "but it's okay when we do it" approach to systems of oppressive power + imperialism, where their vision of a perfect world is not one without these things, but ones where currently marginalized people get to participate in colonial and imperialist power forces just as much as the white men ("I hear the next one will be sent by a woman!"). John Gaius is both a representation of this and a good litmus test for people's opinions on this - he was a bisexual, MÄori man living in colonized Aotearoa, and when he got to remake the universe, he made one where he is the emperor. Instead of making a world where these systems no longer exist, John went "but it's okay when I do it." A lot of people in real life are like this, honestly - a lot of marginalized people choose to only understand liberation and empowerment through the lens of the power wielded by their oppressors. It's an attractive concept, at first, but it doesn't really work in the long run and it cannot provide liberation for everyone. John becoming the most powerful man in the universe, literally becoming God, gives HIM that power, but does not give EVERYONE that power. The Nine Houses are subjugated under him, the non-House planets are regularly destroyed by him, and even his Lyctors are decidedly "under" him, even after ten thousand years. In choosing to wield the weapons of his oppressors for himself, John becomes not a liberator but an oppressor in his own right.
The same thing can be said about John and gender; people tend to reduce the misogyny John expresses because he's bisexual and played with girls' toys, but bisexual men are just as capable of wielding patriarchy against women as straight men. People also find it difficult to grapple with how John, a MÄori man, constructed a blonde Barbie to house the soul of the Earth in, and are hesitant to analyze him as misogynistic because of this. But John making Alecto a Barbie, the icon of white femininity, is the same as him becoming an emperor and surrounding himself with Lyctors in the ancient Roman fashion. Alecto is the idealized white woman, and she is John's. John created her, possesses her, embodies her, in what is both a patriarchal power trip and a marginalized person taking power into his own hands. Alecto being a blonde white woman, being Barbie, carries very clear colonialist AND misogynistic connotations. White supremacy and colonialism has taught John that a blonde-haired white woman is the feminine ideal, which is backed up by the white, blonde-haired and blue-eyed Barbies of his childhood. At the same time, Barbie has an extensive history of being criticized for misogyny, with the doll's design embodying a very clear feminine sexual ideal. The desire to control and contain a beautiful woman is an inherently patriarchal one, and John takes it to the extreme when he chains his Barbie in a coffin at the center of a labyrinth. Alecto is the patriarchal fantasy to wholly possess a beautiful woman, powered by hundreds of years of colonialism teaching John what a beautiful woman even is, filtered through a thin veneer of exerting power over an image of whiteness (although John's treatment of Alecto is primarily misogynistic - it's a very clear part of the text and you need to get comfortable confronting that).
John Gaius is an example of a marginalized person who wishes for the power he has been denied, yet hasn't fully deconstructed colonialism and patriarchy. The only things separating him from anyone else fitting this description is that a) he is a fictional character being written deliberately and b) he had the opportunity to become God. And when John Gaius became God, he didn't change the world; he just made a world where he was in charge. This is an extremely important part of the books! The books are very clearly making commentary on both imperialism and misogyny, and to have people so passionately ignore these themes because they can be uncomfortable to talk about is disheartening. John is a character that invites so much analysis and conversation, there are so many layers to why he is the way he is and what that contributes to the books. People are so unwilling to discuss misogyny and assault or so uncomfortable with the idea of calling a nonwhite guy an imperialist that they steamroll right over these themes, which loses a lot of what makes the books so interesting to begin with in the process.
#open mick night#the locked tomb#tlt#tlt meta#john gaius#tlt spoilers#gideon the ninth#harrow the ninth#nona the ninth#alecto the ninth#alectopause
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Can I request platonic Mewtwo hcâs? Maybe Mewtwo could also communicate with its trainer through telepathy, similar to the anime.
Ohhh, Mewtwo could be fun! Sorry for the long wait :)
Overprotective! Mewtwo Concept
Pairing: Platonic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Manipulation, Mind reading, Violence, Murder, Blood, Slight gore, Forced companionship.
Before meeting you, Mewtwo spent most of its life in isolation.
It was created from Mew's DNA to be a weapon... a powerful Pokemon devoid of compassion.
When it escaped the labs, creating destruction where ever it went, it fled into one of the deepest caves in the Kanto region.
Mewtwo didn't expect to be found... It didn't want to be found.
Humans only caused trouble....
But then, years later, he met you.
You were Kanto's newest "Champion" who had heard rumors of a rare Pokemon deep in Cerulean Cave.
Once you managed to surf your way through to the cave and crawl deep within... you were greeted with Mewtwo.
Mewtwo wasn't fond of you, the idea of humans still finding it down here irked it.
"You are a foolish human to come down and find me."
The voice of the Pokemon rings in your head, its tail flicking.
"Begone with you!"
So battle ensues.
Your team was trained to deal with strong threats like this so you mostly handled things quite well.
By the end of it, a ball was tossed and Mewtwo was sealed.
Your "bond" with the legendary starts rocky.
Mewtwo was used to violence and being used.
It often ignored you and the little communication it did in your head with telepathy was usually cruel.
You often tried to get along, feeding the Pokemon and trying to touch it.
Mewtwo usually batted your hand away with a snarl.
"Stop trying to be nice! I am at your command, aren't you going to use me for your pitiful ideals?"
However, no matter how cruel Mewtwo was with you... You were never cruel back.
Mewtwo often observed how you treated your own team.
Despite how strong they were trained, it was done with care.
Mewtwo never understood compassion...
Not until it grew closer with you.
You surprisingly rarely used Mewtwo in battle.
You stuck with your team but kept Mewtwo around.
It had no idea for what... for chatter?
Why do you enjoy talking to it?
Mewtwo wonders if you know about its true nature.
Did you know that it's killed before?
Are you naive?
Mewtwo had no idea why it even decided to play along with this.
Did it really enjoy your company?
You treated it more like a fellow human than Pokemon.
You often wanted it to speak with you through telepathy... and it felt comfortable with this.
Mewtwo eventually began to see you as a companion.
You were technically its master, but it didn't see you like that.
Soon enough the powerful legendary even allowed you to pet it.
It felt nice... it has trouble admitting that.
Mewtwo has a vague sense of what compassion is, but it's still a weapon.
Compassion is only given to you and maybe some of your Pokemon.
You have tamed Mewtwo for the most part.
However... all that comes crumbling down the moment you're attacked by Team Rocket.
Mewtwo already had issues with other trainers.
The Pokemon would glare at those you communicated with, still not used to human contact.
Although, Team Rocket was a group Mewtwo couldn't cooperate with at all.
Mewtwo remembers what they did to it.
Which is why when it senses you in danger and comes out of its ball... the Pokemon freezes.
Team Rocket heard that the Champion had managed to tame Mewtwo and wanted to utilize that.
The thought makes Mewtwo shake.
Not from fear...
Rage.
It's at this point you lose control of the legendary
"How dare you touch them... I am not for you to use! I belong here... and I plan to stay beside them."
You can imagine that the end result isn't pretty....
Mewtwo has killed before, if you didn't know that before... this was proof.
Mewtwo doesn't feel any remorse when it attacks.
By the end of it there's corpses on the ground and Mewtwo's covered in splatters of gore.
"They'll blame you... You know that, right?"
Mewtwo's voice echoes in your mind, turning to you with a piercing purple gaze.
"Let us flee. I can find somewhere they'll never find you or me."
When you don't move, the Pokemon frowns.
"You see me as a monster, don't you, Champion?"
When you stare, Mewtwo steps closer before using telekinesis to drag you close.
The Pokemon mimics an embrace, even if you fear it.
"Let's be honest, human... I was always a monster... something that shouldn't exist..."
Mewtwo pulls you along, away from the murder scene.
"You may have changed me slightly..."
Its grip tightens as it carries you.
"But I will always be that very same monster."
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I love the implications of the seven birds being from a more technologically advanced world than faerun (knowledge of TV, understanding of machine guns "count the shells", using microphones ect) because how many things was Lucretia not able to erase? Across 99 planes, it's impossible that she managed to get everything. And how well was she really able to introduce the more medieval concepts of faerun into their memories?
What did the THB think everyone was doing just waving swords around rather than pulling out guns; did they just accept it and move on? Imagine Lucretia trying to explain them to a weapons development department of the BoB to equip her employees. Lucretia, a records keeper, who cannot have a great understanding of the inner workings of firearms. Vaguely describing rectangles that explode to a reception of horrified looks.
Or Taako repeatedly asking Sazed to supply him with various kitchen utensils he insists are vital for the recipe that just Do Not Exist. Magnus, complaining that he can't play little games on his stone of farspeech, while everyone around is completely baffled at the concept. Everyone around them not only not getting their pop culture references, but being fundamentally incapable of understanding them.
I just think there is something so funny about them functionally time travelling and then promptly forgetting they were from a different era at all. And just. Having to get on with it.
#it is very possible that this is not at all accurate#i need to relisten to balance#and taz:b faerun is a bit of a mismatch of technology anyway#taako wanted his fancy oven#sazed gave him a firepit#taz#taz balance#the adventure zone#the adventure zone balance#taz lucretia#taz taako#taz magnus
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Thinking about Disney and how we talk about Cultural Representation
(concept art by Scott Watanabe)
Old essay originally written on Cohost in November 2023. With additions.
With all the promo stuff about Disney's upcoming animated film Wish, I can't help but think about Raya and the Last Dragon again. I spent a year intensively researching things about that movie and the discourse surrounding it for a series of videos on Xiran Jay Zhao's channel, and oh boy did that reveal a lot about the current way we talk about cultural representation in casual media criticism.
Lately we've grown a habit of looking at signifiers to culture, things like a cultural dish, a nod to a martial arts style, a piece of clothing, maybe a hairstyle, a weapon and so on, and then projecting a bunch of intentions onto the work regardless of authorial intent. I witnessed this a bunch of times in discussions surrounding Raya and the Last Dragon.
You basically get a bunch of 4d chess-style justifications for the lazy implementation of culture in Raya.
random examples cuz there's too many to name:
The movie will do something like make the leaders of the villain nation women, and people immediately assumed it was some kind of bespoke reference to Minangkabau matriarchical society.
the art book of Raya specifically stated that they purposely misplaced things as a stylistic fantasy choice "we could take something that is known and place it in an unexpected location, like coral in the desert and cacti in the snow". But when people saw a water buffalo placed in the desert they assumed it was some super clever environmental story decision.
The movie will tell you it includes things like Borobudur, Angkor wat, Keris, and most people will take their word for it without hesitation. Never mind that Southeast Asians could barely recognize these nods to our culture through how amalgamated the designs are.
(early concept art by Scott Watanabe)
Moving forward, I think we need to talk less about "what" parts of a culture are being represented in these movies, and more about HOW they're being included, we need to ask:
What is this piece of media's relationship with the cultures it represents?
Because Raya and the Last Dragon is not a cultural movie, it's a monolith film pitched and written by white people and a Mexican director with 2 SEA writers added later in production to avoid backlash. Culture serves the purpose of aesthetic set dressing in the film, as opposed to something that informs its themes and characters.
it wasn't even initially pitched as a Southeast Asian movie. The white writers who pitched it were going for a vague East Asian sci fi fantasy story under the working title "Dragon Empire". Southeast Asian culture was an aesthetic change added much later.
This is what happens when a corporation tries to put representational value on a shallow aesthetic. Because of the way Disney constantly marketed Raya as this big authentic cultural film, it primes its audience to read cultural intention in the most benign details. And when we get lost in the details, we lose sight of the bigger picture.
Contextualizing Cultural media criticism
(visual development art by April Liu)
We need to start demanding more context in our analysis. The next time we see a reference to culture in media we consume, take a step back and ask what purpose it serves in the narrative. And most importantly!! What Is Its Relationship With The Culture It Represents? We shouldn't just accept things at face value.
start asking yourself,
through what lens is this cultural dish and its spicy flavors being presented to us? Are the customs surrounding the food being respected?
If martial arts or dance is represented, how is it translated in the adaptation? Are you getting generic hollywood-fu or are you seeing specific movements with purpose and motivation? Are the philosophies or spiritual contexts of these traditions present in the text?
Are the clothing, hairstyles, and presentation of the characters being de-yassified through a colonial filter? Is the non-conformity of the cultures' different framework for gender presentation being adjusted to fit a more recognizable binary?
If language is present, what role does it serve? Is it presented as other through being exclusively used by villainous beings? Is it being made a monolith as one "non-English" language?
is this temple actually a place of worship or is it just a set piece for a goddang Indiana jones booby trap action fight sequence
This way, instead of unquestionably defending a piece of media because a character wore a traditional outfit one time, or because some characters took their shoes off at a temple, or because there were Arnis sticks in that one fight scene, we can approach the text with a more nuanced and holistic understanding of how culture informs narrative.
To quote Haunani K. Trask (author of From A Native Daughter):
âCultural people have to become political⌠Our culture canât just be ornamental and recreational. Thatâs what Waikiki is. Our culture has to be the core of our resistance. The core of our anger. The core of our mana. Thatâs what culture is for.â
#ramblings#media criticism#jesncin cohost essay repost#working on the raya videos was so informative for how I approach cultural media criticism#like it really made me question what exactly I wanted from cultural representation
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A Very Rough Analysis of Bug Beauty Standards in Hallownest
thank you @arty-cakes u've enabled me to have thought processes and now we're in a hell of our own making
Bear with me. Ok. This started because of discussion over Zote's horns. I'm gonna be combining both in-game dialogue and some irl bug things to come up with some vague understanding for how, potentially, bug beauty may be perceived in Hallownest. Because there is quite a FEW possibilities here, and I wanna dissect what I can.
And of course in my humble opinion there are no real, true Standards. Bugs are only full of love and there is no real concept of "ugliness." Because I said so. ...And, I mean, this would actually have some ground, because Hallownest is a conglomerate of a LOT of different bug species!! Truly, for there to be any one consensus wouldn't make a lot of sense, because everyone's going to have different standards Per Species.
(I implore everyone here to look up stalk-eyed flies (<LINK GOES TO PICTURE OF A BUG). To some bugs out there, that is, in fact, the pinnacle of sexy. So the idea of true beauty could REALLY, REALLY VARY.)
But hey. I'm having fun. So take my hand. Let's analyze nothing for no reason. this is a very long post. THERE IS ALSO ONE (1) PICTURE OF IRL BUG IN HERE; ITSE BEETLES. Be aware!
So, first of all.
These are sexy. This is considered sexy by bug standards. Or at the very least by Bretta and Godseeker's standards respectively. The words used to describe GPZ are "gorgeous" and "beautiful" while, as everyone knows, Flukemarm is "alluring."
So what this tells me right off the bat is that bugs seem to value Big and Round. The larger the body mass, the more attractive that bug is. Godseeker even refers to her real-world form, which looks like this,
with this dialogue:
"...And this? Our form swells? Large? Nay. Immense. Majestic. Hibernation, so long forced upon Us, yet the shell that results is strong... So strong! Thine gaze is adoring. Ye must think Us Godly. Amusing, foolish. But thou art faced with enormity and beauty, true..."
"Linger and gaze. Linger and gaze on Our magnificent shell. Our overpowering beauty!"
So like. I've at least a little reason to believe that Big and Large = Conventionally Attractive in some manner when it comes to these bugs.
To be fair, the Godseeker isn't from Hallownest. So her opinions on this matter might not align with everyone else's. But Bretta, who we have no reason to believe isn't a Hallownest native, does envision a sexyman Zote to be just as Big and Large.
Oh, and, of course:
This big guy is literally Called a "gorgeous husk." We could assume it's the golden shine that allows this one to be Gorgeous, OR we could assume it's the roundness. I, for one, think it's the Roundness.
HOWEVER, there is some possible contradictions to his idea. For one, the Gluttonous husk,
Is referred to as having a "grotesque shape" by the Hunter. Now, the grotesque-ness may be due to overconsumption (as is mentioned in the same entry), thus causing a bloated, unnatural shape that we can't totally see due to the artstyle/lack of reference. But it is worth Mentioning.
Also, of course, Salubra seems to think Ghost is quite a Fine Specimen, despite Ghost being far from Large or as Round:
"You're even more the attractive bug, clad in all those wonderful, sparkling things. I may have nothing more to give, but you must come back and visit from time to time. Such a dashing figure frequenting my store. I bet the whole village is jealous. Mmm hmm!"
"...Dear dear, I really must hold it together, must appear calm, but this creature... is just divine..."
"It's rare enough that someone enters my store, but even rarer to meet one so striking! Those impressive horns! That fierce weapon. The air of mystery! Ooooh. It's enough to make me swoon."
It's VERY possible a lot of Salubra's thoughts on this matter are due to charms, though shdgKJSDHG. A lot of her thoughts are specifically connected to the charms, thinking Ghost looks dashing with those charms on, etc.
But interestingly, she does mention Ghost's horns as "impressive," which brings up a whole other slew of questions on what "average" would be for horns. And since this whole thing initially started as a discussion on Zote's horns, well. Now I'm just wondering!!
Because in Bretta's sexyman version of Zote, she doesn't give him symmetrical horns. Sure, in a meta way, you could argue that's just a way to make sure GPZ is recognizable as a version of Zote. BUT!!!! When I was talkin earlier, I was speculating an idea where symmetry could be conventionally attractive in some way, and asymmetry could be generally unappealing. So it's interesting that a potentially unattractive quality would be kept on the Sexyman version. I suppose if Zote told Bretta he lost his horn in some grand battle, or whatever, of COURSE she wouldn't get rid of his epic battle scar. But at the same time, if he DIDN'T say that, then she just chose to keep it..... perhaps assuming it was a scar herself, or perhaps Bretta just doesn't take symmetry into account as a Beauty Thing. I dunno! Many possibilities there.
And if Ghost's little baby horns are impressive, then... Good lird, what do we make of the Hollow Knight then, right? Or hell, even Hornet!
I'm not sure if we wanna use that as a True scale for Horn standard. Especially especially seeing as Ghost isn't even physically mature, as far as we're aware (the Hollow Knight is specifically mentioned as "fully grown Vessel" in the Hunter's Journal, so). After all, it is ALSO very possible that Salubra was just Saying things as a means to convince you to buy stuff.
So for now let's abandon Salubra's thoughts. Let's go elsewhere.
In IRL bug talk, horns are generally a means for mate selection and/or competition with rivals. Usually these two things go hand-in-hand (competition is For Mates, I mean. or other resources).
after all, how are you gonna toss a guy off a tree if you don't got horn.
So it's not out of the question to think that horns on the Hallownest bugs would have some sort of Meaning. Especially since we see a LOT of bugs with varying horn sizes/shapes. And if we want to say every face we see is actually a mask, then that's even more telling! Because then horns are specifically being added to masks for one reason or another.
So that makes me Really wonder.
like this is obnoxious. what do you need all that horn for. Those don't even look practical for battling with. Granted, the shape of the Pale King's "crown" looks VERY similar to the mouth of the Wyrm corpse, so it's possible he just Kept that shape as his crown rather than intend for it to be horns.
But STILL. How do you think the bugs of Hallownest felt about this thing? Like that's so many horns. If he's meant to look like a "common bug," how to those Common Bugs feel about all those horns. Like sir that's excessive. We don't have all those. The most any one common bug has is three, iirc. So like. Huh.
Or would More Horn = more attractive? I'm uncertain. PK might not be all that conventionally attractive anyway. Given the lack of Large and Round going on. He is, in fact, small and pointy. So who's to say.
Anyway. Drop the horn talk for now. I want to go back to Bretta.
Bretta forms crushes on Ghost and Zote. But I don't think she's attracted their actual honest-to-Wyrm appearances. She creates idealized versions of her crushes and seems to only tangentially connect them to the real person, given... well. GPZ looks like that, and Zote does NOT look like that.
In her thoughts, she considers Zote "beautiful." In the first diary entry, she calls Ghost "beautiful." But she also writes Ghost as "standing tall," while Ghost is anything but tall, and. Yes. Again. GPZ. And in her last set of thoughts about Zote, she seems to only then see him as "smaller, tattered and stained." At some point, she seems to stop seeing a real Figure, and only sees an idolized, fake version of that Figure.
So I don't think she sees either Ghost or Zote as physically attractive on their own. More the idea of what they "could" be.
Does that all make sense? God I sure hope so. I have another Bretta thing to mention, though.
In one of the Zoteling Hunter's Journal entries, aka a snippet from Bretta's zote fanfiction, we've got this:
""That lowly map-maker's wife? Hah! My Queen, how could you compare yourself to her? In the face of your intoxicating beauty, all other females are merely dust!" The Grey Prince trembled with anger and indignation... and love."
So. That tells us Bretta sees Iselda as conventionally attractive in some way. Or, at the very least, feels a need to compare herself to Iselda to the point of writing about it in her fanfiction. So let's look at Iselda.
The only thing we can say for certain about Iselda that follows with anything we've spat out so far is that Iselda, while not Large in a GPZ way, is very TALL. To the point where Elderbug has a whole thing of dialogue talking about how tall Iselda is:
"She's a tall bug, the wife. I told them to take a larger house, especially given they're all empty, but they liked the look of that one. The way she has to bend just to get through the door...I wouldn't put up with it myself."
So we do have the Large-in-a-Way thing going. And for all we know, since she used to be a warrior, she could also have SICK muscles. She could pick me up and throw me, I think. And round... I mean. Her, um. Well her abdomen, I suppose, is . Rather round. But she's otherwise not Round in the sense that Flukemarm is round, or the Gorgeous Husk is Round.
So who knows!!! Perhaps it's just the Largeness/Height that contributes to attractiveness as opposed to fat. But I choose to believe fat is a positive factor anyway. Because I can, so there.
IT'S TIME TO TALK ABOUT SMELLS.
ok, technically, I could end that there. Because I can't find TOO Much more dialogue talking about the Beauty of Bugkind. I've checked around, but... MMm. Not too much, really!
BUT. While not, perhaps, part of a bug's seen appearance... There does seem to also be a little variation on Smell opinions. Which could definitely add to conventional attractiveness, especially since irl bugs are CHOCK FULL of sexy smelly pheromones. looking at you bombykol ....
And by that I mean. Responses to the Defender's Crest.
Leg Eater thinks it's a "tasty" smell and will give you a discount for it. Tuk recognizes the smell as that of a "friend," and well also give you a discount for it (in that case, it's more likely she just recognizes it as Ogrim's smell as opposed to anything Attractive about it, lmao, but STILL). Of course, Ogrim thinks it's a "just" smell.
Elderbug and Lemm are the only ones I can think of that have blatantly negative responses (Elderbug says something about the air smelling horrid while Lemm. Um: "Urgh! What do you think you're doing, coming into my nice little shop stinking like that?! These relics have been through enough. They don't need you spreading your stench all over them! Crawl back to the Waterways or wherever you came from!").
The White Lady obviously also associates it with Ogrim, saying it brings "joyous memories."
SO you're probably thinking. Hey Clam, this is a strange side-tangent to go on. There's not too much about the Defender's Crest smell that really works with your theory. Two characters dislike it, and two others only like it because they associate it with Ogrim. So, what gives?
divine's dialogue:
"Ahhhh, that smell! So strong, so virile..."
do you know. What virile means?
i'm sorry . I do not think Team Cherry meant it this way. But GOD HELP ME if it isn't REALLY FUNNy,
OKAY. Okay. I think... I think I'm done for now. There isn't a hell of a lot more I can find within game to go off of. and when it comes to irl bugs, well. Again, it varies pretty heavily by species!! So much is possible here. Refer to stalk eyed flies again. Sometimes, to a bug, having super long eye stalks is what's hot. Other times, all it's about is if you can throw a guy off a tree.
Or you're a giant water bug and being a good dad is sexy. I'm not joking. It's called sexy dad hypothesis. And well. I'm not here to shame the dads of Hallownest, but...
So. Yes!!!! OKay. I said words. I wrote this all in one very quick sitting and now I'm wandering away. I have things to do that I am presently not doing because I'm analyzing bug beauty standards.
#clamtalk#hollow knight#analysis#I don't know what all to tag this with.#it is what it is!#VERY long ramble#<-haven't used that tag in ages#ask to tag#<- in case something should go here that I'm forgetting.#ok. wanders away into the aether
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Nest Swap 9
masterpost
Having a mission changed everything.Â
Tim took full advantage of his new knowledge of the holy manuals. The first rule that he took to heart was that he was meant to be armed. Of course! It made sense.
Unfortunately, he was also not meant to take any weapon onto the field that he hadnât trained with. Tim thought hard for a while whether or not a suburban house counted as âin the fieldâ, but it seemed like he should pay lip service to Batmanâs rule. So he got some sharp things that seemed interesting and spent some time throwing them at a target. They kind of looked like Batarangs, but⌠different.Â
âI donât think bats change shape in the next ten years or so,â Tim muttered. He gave another half hearted throw. The thing dinged off the wall below his target. âSo this isnât meant to be a bat shape. Did Batman rebrand to the Birdman and no one fixed his wiki page yet? Is this a parallel universe and not my actual future?â
It occurred to him that it might be a bird because of Robin. But come on, Robins didnât use sharp things. Robin was a child. It was irresponsible for children to use blades.Â
Tim sent another thingy into the wall. It hit with the pointy end first this time and sank an inch into the wall to the right of the target. He held his breath as it wiggled for a moment. Then it went still without falling.
âYes!â He punched the air. Thank gosh! He was getting bored with that. It was good to be done with training. It was kind of dull.
Steps one and two were finished. He had a weapon and he had trained with it. Tim went back to his list. The next technical skill set was lock picking. That was super easy and fun! Tim enjoyed the clear diagrams and explanations. There wasnât anything to practice with, but he thought that he had the concept down handily. He grabbed a set of lockpicks for his khaki pockets.Â
He needed to do a little more to understand the patterns of the target, as well as their background. Tim considered asking Jason for any information, but he probably didnât have any. Maybe he wasnât very good at googling. So he just did it. The Sausage Guy was more commonly known as Benedict Orange, a name that Tim really liked and mentally stored away to use as an alias when he was a superhero.Â
Anyway. Tim figured out how old the guy was, where heâd gone to school, and a bunch of other stuff like the record of his marriage ten years ago.Â
âHuh,â Tim said, brows furrowed. âI didnât find a divorce record. But heâs single now?â Mr. Orange had accounts on a lot of dating sites. He was using his engagement photo for the profile photo, with his wife cut out.
That was weird. He tried to find the wife, but there wasnât anything more recent than 8 years ago, when sheâd announced that she was quitting her job on social media.Â
âŚTim had kind of a bad feeling about that.Â
He put a pin in it for now, but he had a small theory at the back of his mind that started with âI think this guy killed his wife.â
Maybe that was how the human sausage thing started. Maybe heâd killed her on impulse and then needed a way to get rid of the body. And then maybe heâd gotten a taste for it.
Tim shuddered. Okay, okay, he was for real done thinking about this! Big yucky.
Benny Orange was an office worker with a title that Tim didnât really understand. It seemed vague to the point of uselessness, but then again, that was office work. The relevant thing was that he got home around 6 pm, and he left at 8 am.
It was 10 in the morning. Tim could get over there and toss Bennyâs home before the end of the workweek if he hurried. The manual said that you should never spend more than an hour investigating an unsecured location. It also said that you should file a report or directly inform someone of where youâd be.Â
That part made Tim pause for a moment before he remembered that heâd told Jason. Jason would probably check on him when he woke up, or whatever.
Tim found an equipment belt that he could wrap around his waist twice to buckle on. He put his sharp things in it. Then he untucked his shirt, because he had tucked it in out of habit and that would make it harder to access his weapons. He frowned as he did it. It just felt wrong.
He put on his shoes and got out the door. He didnât have a lot of time to waste if he wanted to be able to take his time, so Tim hailed a taxi to cross most of the distance this time. He was grateful that Mrs. Henderson was gone and there was no chance of seeing her. Last time had been a little bit of a disaster. Needing civilian help to get into the building was not a winning move.
He had bat-approved lockpicks this time. He went to the front door and did his best.Â
It turned out that maybe he should have practiced? Tim started to sweat out in the open. It felt like someone was staring at his back. He looked at the houses around. No one was at their windows or walking outside. He started jumping whenever the tall herbs in Mr. Orange's garden swayed in the breeze. He had a lot of plants.
His hands were shaking. The sweat made his shirt stick to his back. He was going to get caught and in so much trouble.
When the door finally opened, Tim offered up a thanks to Bast, because he assumed the cat goddess was more likely to be pro-breaking and entering than other gods. That logic was just based off of what he knew about Catwoman, honestly.Â
The first glimpse into Benedict Orange's home was disappointingly normal. He had vinyl flooring (easy to clean!), leather furniture, and a big flat TV high up on the wall. He didnât have enough knickknacks and there was no art. There was a wood and glass case that was full of identical, unlabeled bottles with something red in it. Hot sauce? Was he a hot sauce guy?
Tim mentally reclassified Mr. Orange further down the list of âpeople I could talk to at a cocktail party.â
The place had the same layout as Mrs. Hendersonâs place, just in reverse. Tim beelined to the kitchen because.. Well.
He just did.
The counter space where Mrs. Henderson had a hot water kettle, a big stand mixer, and a toaster was mostly clear here. Mr. Orange only had one piece of cooking machinery. Tim didnât know it. He squinted at it. It was a big shiny stainless steel thing. It had a metal tray, a wheel, and like⌠a nozzle. When he climbed on a chair to look down, he could see there was a little tunnel tube thing where you could put stuff inside the body of the machine.
Weird. Moving on!
He checked inside the fridge. He stared for a moment of aghast silence. There was a stack of takeout containers, a bunch of seasonings in the door, and a stack of tupperware with something red in them.Â
Cautiously, Tim dug one out and opened it.
âThatâs raw meat,â he said, voice high. He put the box back in and then hesitated. Maybe he should be like, taking it? Or taking a sample? To see what animal it came from?
âIâll think about it.â Tim shut the fridge a little harder than he needed to and beat feet out of the kitchen. He started checking the other rooms. He found the master bedroom. His nose wrinkled. âI donât think heâs restyled this since Brenda died,â Tim complained. He looked at the curtains with extreme judgment. They were so outdated it wasnât even funny, but they also werenât retro yet!
Oh. Wait. Belatedly, Tim remembered that it was ten years into his future. So, maybe they were retro now. Anyways, Brenda had liked the trend for chickens and roosters. There were chickens and roosters everywhere in the decor, including a cute print of what was obviously intended to be a husband and wife pair snuggling on a sofa.
His heart hurt a little. He looked at it a little too long.Â
Tim took a deep breath. Then he went back to looking for evidence. There wasnât much in the bedroom, so clearly Mr. Orange had a personal office elsewhere. There were two more rooms in the apartment.
Tim opened the next door. The room was mostly a guest bedroom, with the notable exception of a huge chest freezer and a weird long wooden bar across the room.
Tim shut the door.
The last room was the office. There was a desk, a file cabinet, and a lockbox full of womenâs drivers licenses.
âYeah, okay,â Tim said under his breath. âHeâs a serial killer.â He took photos and sent them to Jason immediately with the subject line âYeah heâs a killer!!!â
Then he got down to sorting through the papers to see if there was anything else. Jason was a Robin, Tim supposed, so heâd need the evidence to show the police. It would be helpful if he just went and sorted it out now. He found warranties for the TV, the new freezer, and he presumed that âMeat Grinderâ meant the thing in the kitchen.
âI appreciate that heâs so organized, actually,â Tim muttered. He was hunched over digging through the bottom drawer now.
A key went into a door.Â
Tim froze stock still. He slowly, silently shut the drawer. He stared at the closed door to the living room. On the other side of it, Mr. Orange unlocked and opened the front door. Tim slowly looked up, saw 12:14 on the clock, and vaguely registered that sometimes people come home on their lunch breaks.
The front door shut. There was a quiet metal sound that Tim thought was probably the chain lock. The chain lock that was too high for him to move without a chair to stand on.
Okay. Uh. He looked around for a place to hide. The best option was under the desk. Tim crawled through the legs of the chair, heart beating furiously.
He weighed his options. Wait it out and hope Mr. Orange didnât come in?
âŚSeemed risky. But there was no way he was going to run out past the guy to the front door. At least, the odds that heâd get grabbed were just not good, not when he didnât know where Mr. Orange was.Â
Alright. Tim knew reality. He might not be able to get out of this on his own. At the very least, he should let Jason know what was going on so that they could add his murder to the list of charges. And maybe Jason was close by to help? Wayne Manor was awfully far away, so probably not. But it didnât hurt to try.
He got his phone back out and was silently very glad that he had it. Jason had responded to his message. Tim didnât take the time to read it, instead typing up a blank email with the subject line âum might need help asap :( he hereâ. He sent it. Then he huddled down to wait.
Noises came from the kitchen- the suction as the fridge opened. The beep of the microwave. A manâs voice saying, âWhat the fuck? Did I leave this here?â
His blood turned ice cold.
âWhat did I do?â Tim desperately tried to remember what heâd touched in the kitchen. Had he really moved something around? He didnât remember anything! His heart rate went up like crazy.
The door opened. Tim flinched. His whole body started shaking uncontrollably.
Oh. No. It wasnât this door yet. It was the door to the next room, the spare bedroom. He heard the weird squelch of the chest freezer opening. Then the closet door squeaked open. Something heavy moved around.Â
âWell, it wasnât you,â said Mr. Orange. There was a mean satisfaction in his tone. The heavy thing moved again.
Timâs brain went a bit blank.
Who was he talking to? Was there someone in the apartment? Hidden behind something heavy?
He opened up another email. Jason hadnât responded, so there was no way to know if heâd seen. Tim hastily typed up, âI think thereâs a living hostage in the houseâ and sent it as the door to the office opened.
He hugged his arms around his knees and squeezed his eyes shut. Oh gosh. Oh heck. Oh no, oh no. He bit his lower lip and broke skin.
âNo. I canât be a baby about this.âÂ
It was really hard with how stiff his fingers felt. But Tim put the phone in his pocket and wrestled the sharp bird weapon out. He held it clumsily. And he watched Mr. Orangeâs feet move around the room. They walked around the room. He saw the curtains move as Mr. Orange pulled them to check no one was hiding there. Then he knew that Mr. Orange was coming to his hiding spot.
Tim swallowed. He waited until Mr. Orangeâs feet were in sight. He stabbed his sharp thing down through the top of Mr. Orangeâs sock.
Mr. Orange bellowed and fell back against his filing cabinet.Â
Tim scrambled out and ran.
He went towards the front door on automatic and nearly got there before he looked up and saw that yes, the chain lock was on. He couldnât reach it.Â
âYou little shit!â Mr. Orange bellowed. He lunged at Tim. Tim barely dodged. He jabbed at him again without looking and barreled towards the door to Mrs. Hendersonâs apartment. It only had a doorknob lock. He unlatched it, praying that she had not changed her ideas about the open door policy. The door handle turned.
He threw himself into the room and slammed the door shut. He clicked the little button lock.
Mr. Orange hit the door, hard. It shook. He wasnât saying anything anymore. There was something about that which struck Tim as absolutely terrifying. Didnât people bellow and yell when they were mad?Â
He looked towards Mrs. Hendersonâs door. The door shook again as Mr. Orange hit it.
Wood splintered.
If he went out Mrs. Hendersonâs front door he could sprint for it. What were the odds he could outrun a grown man? If he did, wouldnât Mr. Orange just get in his car? Potential witnesses had made Mr. Orange back off before, but he was more invested now in silencing Tim. And there was no one around. Tim had checked.Â
The door splintered again. He could see Mr. Orangeâs shoulder. Then a socked foot.
âI donât think I stabbed his foot well enough,â some distant part of Timâs brain catalogued. âHeâs still moving on it. If I live past this, Iâm going to commit to the next stabbing with more enthusiasm.â
He bolted for the stand where Mrs. Henderson kept her mace. He was just out of sight from Mr. Orangeâs hole in the door. His heart thudded so loud. His shaking had stopped. The mace didnât feel heavy.Â
âIf I was taller, iâd aim for the face. I canât pull that off. Iâll aim for center mass. He may block with an arm, but theoretically his arm will be hurt enough that Iâll be able to pull back and make another swing.â
There was a catastrophic smash from inside Mr. Orangeâs apartment.Â
Then a âWhat the fuck-â that got cut off a little early. Mr. Orange sounded mad and confused.Â
A thud. Two smaller thuds. A clicking. Tim wanted so badly to know what was going on.Â
A hand reached through the hole in the door and unlatched the lock.Â
Tim swallowed. He readied a swing.Â
The door opened.
Tim took a step forward and swung Mrs. Hendersonâs antique mace with maximum strength directly into the armored center mass of a guy who was NOT Mr. Orange.
âOh my gosh,â Tim said, horrified, at the instant he connected. The guy was looking forward. He looked down too late, just as the mace hit.
There was sort of a bounce. The mace bounced back off the tummy armor without digging in or drawing blood. Half of Tim was relieved, and half was terrified that his plan had failed.Â
The guy doubled over and made a sound that was a lot like GURK. He clutched at his torso with one arm and pointed a gun at Tim with the other.
Tim put his hands up.
The guy looked at Tim. Presumably. It was hard to tell through his ugly red motorcycle helmet.
âI really should have known.âÂ
His mechanical voice was scary.
Bad guy!Â
Tim took his chances and another swing before the guy could shoot him. He expected to hear a shot as he smashed his mace again. The guy yelped and jerked backwards to avoid getting hit. Then there was a thud.
Tim peered through the door cautiously. The guy had tripped over Mr. Orange. Mr. Orange was laying on the floor facedown, arms zip tied behind his back.Â
âOh, sorry,â Tim apologized. He took a couple steps over to put the mace back away. He gave Mr. Orange a wide berth.
âI never would have guessed that the Red Hood used kids like this,â Mr. Orange said meanly. He narrowed his eyes at Tim. âSmall, even for bait.â
The Red Hood guy pointed his gun at Mr. Orangeâs head. Tim shrieked.
The Red guy stopped. He seemed to look at Tim again. He had some really bad words. âAlright.â He got back up to his feet and put the gun away.
Right. Heâd probably just been joking or something. Tim belatedly registered the control it must have taken to not accidentally shoot while being attacked and falling over.Â
Oh. Wait. It was a huge coincidence that a hero came right now, unless-
âIs this Jason?â Tim felt his eyebrows go all the way up. He wanted to ask a million questions. His mouth was firmly glued shut, though. Partly it was infosec. But it was also embarrassment.
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mohgwyn dynasty themes
going back to my mohg posting era, to say i've thought about the whole symbolism behind it
First of all, as you already know Mohg was shunned from birth. Mohg used his own acursed blood as both a weapon and he also embraced it. The formless mother came to him. Mohg never had a mother. Not a present one anyway. There's this theme of neglect behind it. The formless mother is absent, Mohg seems to be absent to his own followers, and even Miquella seemed to be absent.
Varre says that the two fingers hold no "love" for the tarnished, despite them bringing the tarnished into existence. I think theres a vague undertone of Mohg wanting a family of his own and living that through the dynasty. He didn't create the tarnished, but he takes them in and gives them blood powers, and holds more "love" for them than the two fingers according to Varre.
Now that we know Mohg was bewitched, and how bewitchment works, we know that it only makes the victim love [Miquella]. Mohg's love seems to be very present-- but very obsessive. He's obsessed with this idea, the concept he can have his own family and be loved despite his past, so he embraces his hornsent nature. He grows free wings in his second phase.
He gives Okina who nearly kills him a blood katana, because she is worthy to survive. Like Mohg once did.
There is this poetic undertone to all the suffering in Mohgwyn dynasty and it's followers, that no matter how much you bleed, you can be loved. By Mohg, lord of blood.
okay my brain hurts dies
#mohgwyn dynasty#mohg the omen#mohg lord of blood#mohgwyn palace#elden ring#eldenring#sote spoilers#shadow of the erdtree#mohgreal#mohgreal posts
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Yeah, no, we're going to say a solid NO on this one, the fact that she's not a kid is, like... stated in dialogue within the first five minutes of the game (in the conversation that involved, we will note, she is also getting a job. where they don't hire children. she is employed at the explorer's association. she was previously employed at the honey factory.)
She's short. It is a running gag that she's short and cute and gets mistaken for a kid, but that doesn't necessarily make her a kid, and to be honest it feels very weird to call her a child when half of her personal hangups are dedicated to breaking away from being viewed as such.
We wish to note - the main source, in-game, for calling her a child, would be her sister, who uses it as an insult and means of implying her immaturity. The only person calling her a child in-game who isn't immediately corrected is her older sister, who calls her a child as means to discredit her and talk down to her, from a character who as directly stated from Vi herself is prone to insulting her and talking down about her chosen career.
Although we know why people would vote "yes", our personal opinion aligns firmly to "no, this isn't a child, this is a woman who canonically commits tax fraud and we really don't think that a discord message saying she's 17 from 2019 should be taken as gospel especially when it's being used to reinforce a point that, in-game, is specifically used to imply that she is being unreasonable because she's a "greedy, selfish child" and should not have time wasted on her".
PRELIMINARY #4
So I've been seeing mixed opinions in the notes about Vi's canon age vs how her game treats her so here we are.
#the âgreedy selfish childâ thing is a direct quote from the game btw we can show you the transcripts#we don't want to comment on the like. âdev-stated ageâ thing but dev comments are NOTORIOUSLY janky for this game in particular#we usually dont touch this argument with a ten foot pole bc its been beaten to death and back#and often gets you Bear Trapped by well-meaning folks who are also jumping the trigger on a hot-button issue#word of god also states that vi doesnt have any âreal problemsâ and though we really dont want to unpack All That right now#we would like to stress that there is in fact an entire fucking scene dedicated to her sister yelling at vi bc she tried to apologize to he#there are a whole lot of things in-game where the statement has been the equivalent of a firm shrug and a âehh never thought abt itâ#and it feels a bit gross to refer to vi as a child in a way where we're inclined to ignore word of god#because by all evidence in the game itself she is indeed A Fully Grown Adult she's just like. a bit of an immature rat in personality#and VERY UNDERSTANDABLY prone to overreacting when jabbed at about her age since her older sister uses it as a blunt force weapon#this is not a child. this is a young adult with enough spring loaded baggage to bite your head off over calling her a kid#we understand but man. if this gets us a hand in that bear trap its gonna SUCK#we don't speak on this topic super often because to be quite honest its just like. bit exhausting#anyways it doesnt fit into the arguments here we want to note that she hangs out in a bar before events of the game#you are running into a Very Specific Argument in this fandom that sparks a LOT of shit#because that particular word of god has sparked like a fuckton of people being Really Weird over like. the vague concept of childhood?#we dont know. a lot of people are like super fucking invested in the idea of her being An Innocent Kid. its a trope.#egh. we're sorry to be so long-winded on this. we really WANT to summarize this better but we have a lot of thoughts on this#the tax fraud is technically extracanonical btw its in the art book but its in character enough that we count it as close enough#we've got like a whole ass half finished essay about this shit but we wouldn't consider it presentable enough as is#tldr âwith context from the setting theres a nonzero chance that calling her a child is actually just verbal abuseâ#bug fables#we speak#hopefully this is a Good Enough argument we've been dreading having to see this tournament on our dash for a Bit#so if the vote comes out to yes we might just block the tournament blog we're sorry#we kept intending to do so and then forgetting. ah well. at least it gave us the chance to offer input on this particular poll.
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Flufftober Day 20 - Costumes
Content includes: Lilia x reader, established relationship, costumes are not described (pick what you want!), Lilia should count as his own warning
âOoh, this one would be nice, donât you think?â
Lilia points at the screen of your laptop, and you roll your eyes when you see what heâs referring to. Yet another cheesy, vaguely sexual couples costume.
It was initially your idea to wear matching costumes with Lilia, considering it a rite of passage as a couple. Now, youâre seriously regretting bringing it up.
âCâmon, why not? Itâll be funny. Weâll be the talk of the party!â
Youâd rather not be the talk of the party, and you make sure to tell Lilia that. He laughs and leans against you as you continue your scrolling, looking for inspiration.
Every so often, Lilia will point out a costume, and you can never quite tell if heâs joking or being serious about it. You just assume itâs a bit of both, knowing him.
Eventually, you do come across a promising concept. You can see Liliaâs eyes light up, and you know youâve found your costume.
âOh, this is it. You agree, donât you?â
You nod, and you save the link to your computer for later. The two of you always planned to make your costumes from scratch, but you needed inspiration first.
Afterwards, the two of you make a quick run to Samâs shop to buy the necessary supplies. You absolutely did not trust Lilia with anything that could be considered a weapon, and he pretended to pout as you took away the sewing kit he bought.
Making the costumes was a lot easier than you assumed it would, but, to be fair, magic was involved thanks to Lilia.
Soon enough, your costumes are finished. You try them on, and Lilia immediately takes the opportunity to flirt.
âMy, donât you look just ravishing? And, might I ask who designed such a lovely costume?â
You laugh and gently push his arm, and he laughs along with you. Your costumes do look amazing, and youâre sure theyâll absolutely kill at the costume party youâre attending later this week.
When your laughter dies down, Lilia wraps his arms around you, pulling you in for a quick kiss.
âIn all seriousness, you do look absolutely stunning. Thank you for doing this with me.â
Your heart melts, and you pull him in for another kiss as a response.
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twst#twst x reader#lilia vanrouge#lilia vanrouge x reader#flufftober#flufftober 2024#twst fluff
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minecraft
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<rin> the gist of it is that when I was with my ex who just kind of brought things up to start fights, I eventually got numb to it and mentally checked out of arguing. it was always insanely mundane stuff that would get responses (eg asking if a weapon in warframe was meta and taking it personally if I said it wasn't) so I naturally concluded "ah yeah, minecraft won't do that"
<rin> but what I didn't realise is that in response to any attempt to do that in minecraft, I'd go dwarfmode and just build an incomprehensible hyperfixation labyrinth while nodding and going "mhm" every time argument bait was dropped
<rin> this base had literally 300 rooms, connected by tunnels and spires with nothing in them that I constructed in a fugue state and filled with mannequins, but then I realised I had a problem
<rin> that was really really really fucking scary
<rin> what I had ACTUALLY built was a city that could house an entire faction, to scale with some real life towns and fully furnished, in a place where ambient cave noises would play and it wasn't always clear where the next door to the surface (or an airlock into a cavern) was
<rin> and I got so creeped out conceptually by having a massive labyrinth that was made entirely of negative autistic energy, filled with mannequins that I placed seemingly only to scare myself, that I stopped going in most of it and kind of hid in one of the top floors (the one with the terracotta ballroom and the roman style bathing area)
<rin> the end result was that I started building houses inside of the house, smaller basecamps that were less creepy than the massive empty structure, along with numbered signs and routes through it that avoided "the creepy parts"
<rin> the creepy parts were like. exceptionally weird.
<rin> it wasn't even built as a base, but just vaguely attached "expansion" that usually simulated something or otherwise looked like it should have a use
<rin> for example, a series of identical plazas, connected by a central spiral staircase, all with identical underground apartment buildings that flanked all four sides, down to the furniture inside of them, all the way to bedrock
<gf> oh my god babe
<gf> i don't even know what to say. just oh my god
<rin> there were multiple restaurants, and the gimmick of them is that they were identical except for the color of the wool used on the carpet, and there were 20 of them
<friend> rin, are you like, okay
<rin> oh no I'm insane
<rin> genuinely I wish I still had the world file because like, what cool organic horror it was
<gf> yeah that sounds kind of incredible in like a really terrible way
<rin> there were distinctly the small manageable rooms where I was actually comfortable playing the game and then there was the horrifying maze of structures that made up my mental labyrinth further in or something
<rin> total aside, that's why there's the metrolith labyrinths in vesalblood. the "compacted underground urban center built on top of other urban centers" thing struck me as a cool enough concept to keep
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How To Start Writing A Book (So Says This Idiot)
Iâve been working on my queer superhero fantasy novel Byoldervine for a few years now, but itâs only been in the last year or so that Iâve really dedicated myself to my writing. Now Iâve gone from a fun few concepts to nearly 50K words and counting. So I figured Iâd share my process to get here
1. Figure out your barebones concept
Before you can begin writing, you obviously need to know what youâre writing. At this point in time it can literally just be something like âA group of friends go on a quest through a magical fantasy world and meet loads of mythical creatures along the wayâ, it doesnât even necessarily need a plot intact. You can be as vague or as specific as you like here, you just need that general idea
2. Figure out your characters
Your characters are the driving forces behind all internal conflict in your story and give your story heart; if you can pick between expanding your plot and expanding your characters, pick the characters. Start figuring out at very least the need-to-know aspects about your characters, such as their motivations and whatâs holding them back from achieving them. We can flesh them out more and more as we go
3. Create the main external conflict
Often this takes the form of the main antagonist, but it can be literally anything from a curse the main character is trying to overcome, a series of misunderstandings, a goal they just donât have the skills to achieve on their own, etc. Whatâs the thing thatâs causing our main character problems they need to overcome?
4. Work out the beginning and end of your story
Where do you want your story to end? Do you want your characters to be living a life of peace and glory as revered heroes after they defeat the villain? Do you want them to be able to return to the life they once had with new friends and stronger powers than ever before? Do you want them to fail and experience the tragedy of their loss? Well if thatâs where you want to end, they canât have all that at the very start of the story, so thatâs something that needs to change during the story. Congratulations, you just created a plot point!
5. Use your plot points to create a general plan
Now that youâve got some ideas of what you want/need to happen during the story, you can make a timeline of these plot points. Say something like âInciting incident, MC leaves villageâ or âMC trapped by BBEGâ or âMC gains new weaponâ or something like that. At this point things are a bit less vague because now youâre starting to see how the plot can go. Donât forget to add things that the characters would go for, too, even if itâs not plot-relevant
6. Plotting
Youâre ready to start plotting by now. For every chapter, write down a general objective of what needs to be achieved within this chapter. Each of these needs to be followed with bullet points of different, smaller plot points within the chapter to achieve this objective. This part I enjoy doing alongside actually writing so I can update it as I go, Iâll usually plot about five chapters ahead and then get to writing until Iâve used them all up
By this point, youâre ready to write! Best of luck and remember that itâs only a first chapter, all it needs to do is exist!
#writing#writers#bookblr#writeblr#book#original#writer#writing advice#how to write#writing tips#writing tips and tricks#on writing#writing ideas
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